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Valentine’s Day Soundtrack

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The Valentine’s Day soundtrack. Valentine’s Day is one of those all-star portmanteau affairs – a strain of film-making until recently regarded as the fluff sitting in the cinematic navel, but which now seems to be undergoing a minor revival. Why is that? Because they’re cheap to churn out and make plenty of cash. While it might have barely registered with the frenzied sentinels of geek who maintain such aggressive guard over the internet movie news agenda, last year’s He’s Just Not That Into You (its intersecting relationship-based narratives, big-name cast, and presence of smuggy smug smug smug Bradley Cooper designating it as the obvious precursor to Valentine’s Day) managed to squirrel up nearly as much green at the box-office as the hyped to the seven heavens Watchmen, and on a fraction of the budget too.

With Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride) at the helm, and such 21st century show biz ultra-blandies as Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner and Taylor Lautner in the cast, it is probably safe to assume that Valentine’s Day doesn’t offer a particularly deep, truthful or incisive look at how messy and messed-up affairs of the human heart are in reality. ‘Frothy’ is more the level one imagines that Marshall and his collaborators aspired to, and that’s pretty much where the soundtrack album is pitched too.

To genuinely reflect the Valentine’s Day experience, you feel a record would need to run a full gamut of sonic emotions, from How Soon Is Now? for the tragic no-date wallflowers left weeping into their microwave lasagne, to Bills Bills Bills for the saps left holding the overinflated tab for that 14 Feb dinner, to the Monks’ I Hate You for all those couples who finally make the time to spend an entire evening together, only to come to the realisation that they actually loath every single last atom of one another’s corporeal being. Yes, Valentine’s Day is as much an occasion of pain is it is of pleasure. Just ask any of the Chicago wiseguys given a fatal perforating in the St. Valentine’s Day massacre. Or Saint Valentine himself – beaten, beaten and beaten some more, before having his noggin lopped off. The latter of which might well be judged a lucky escape by those who suffer through the Valentine’s Day soundtrack in its entirety. Because Christ almighty, if it isn’t a honking great load of old monkey nuts.

Putting in a prominent appearance are those kind of nice, squeaky clean, nice, pretty, nice female singers who nicely strum nice acoustic guitars or nicely play a nice piano and nicely trill nice ballads about nice boys being nice to them. And why wouldn’t the nice boys be nice to them? They’re so goddamn nice after all. Jewel turns up, delivering her empty, saccharine brand of country-pop, and the every bit as sappy Diane Birch is present too. Queen Drip in this harem of sogginess though is Taylor Swift, who contributes two slabs of chaste Dawson’s Creek super-crap, Today Was a Fairytale and Jump Then Fall, as well as acting in the movie itself as Taylor Lautner’s abs-stroking, blank-eyed concubine.

If we can muster one scrap of feeble defence in favour of Birch, Jewel and Swift then it is that at least they only butcher their own material, rather turning their evil sights to the hard work of others. Were that only all the culprits, sorry contributors to the Valentine’s Day soundtrack as merciful. Sausilito Foxtrot sick up a version of Buddy Holly’s Everyday that couldn’t be a bigger affront to the jitter-rocking emperor of geek-cool than if the never-heard-of-em pap peddlers had exhumed what remains of his corpse and defecated into his skull. From one pop casualty to a pop casualty in waiting: Sam Cooke’s Cupid is given the Amy Winehouse treatment, now with an added ska-reggae element that is about as welcome as Winehouse herself would be were she to show up on your doorstep at 3am, beehive askew, half-drained bottle of vodka in hand. But whatever we make of Winehouse roughing up Cooke, what you can say about Maroon 5 covering Frank Sinatra? It always seems unfair and petty-minded to wade in Maroon 5 simply because they are so often a lightning rod for snooty jerks who gleefully pick fights with shamefully easy targets, while in the same breath raving about some beardy-weirdy dreck that scored 8.7125789 on Pitchfork. Having said that… Maroon 5 are useless cretins who make records for people who hate music and life and the world, and their take on The Way You Look Tonight is flat, phoney and smells of donkey droppings.

Is there anything remotely generous that one can find to say about the Valentine’s Day soundtrack? Well, Ben E. King and Nat King Cole both chip in, neither with one of their better numbers admittedly, but at least the dudes can sing. Willie Nelson’s lightweight, jazzy On the Street Where You Live is just about okay, albeit with the old boy sounding a bit too close to Kermit’s nephew Robin for comfort. What else? Er, uh, erm, well, Joss Stone might normally be pretty useless but in this appalling company she doesn’t sound so terrible, like Dr. Crippen showing up at a party attended by Hitler, Pol Pot and Stalin. Boy-girl duo Steel Magnolia could potentially please those with a hankering for either, or both, of Starship or Michael Bolton. Gossip Girl actress Leighton Meester’s contribution Somebody to Love is not very good, but its electro-pop stylings do at least offer the vaguest of sops to the contemporary musical landscape. And? And?! That’s it. No, perhaps the nicest thing anyone can reasonably say about the Valentine’s Day soundtrack is nothing at all. So let’s do that then.

Listen To The Valentine’s Day Soundtrack:

You can download the Valentine’s Day soundtrack as mp3s here
Or get it on CD here

Valentine’s Day Soundtrack (Songs) (OST) – Track List
1. Today Was a Fairytale – Taylor Swift
2. Say Hey (I Love You) – Michael Franti
3. I’m in the Mood for Love – Jamiriquai
4. On the Street Where You Live – Willie Nelson
5. Everyday – Sausalito Foxtrot
6. Stay Here Forever – Jewel
7. Amor – Ben E. King
8. Cupid – Amy Winehouse
9. The Way You Look Tonight – Maroon 5
10. 4 and 20 – Joss Stone
11. Valentino – Diane Birch
12. Te Quiero Dijiste – Nat King Cole
13. Jump Then Fall – Taylor Swift
14. Shine – Black Gold
15. Keep On Lovin’ You – Steel Magnolia
16. Somebody to Love – Leighton Meester
17. I’m Into Something Good – The Bird and the Bee
18. Signed Sealed Delivered I’m Yours – Anju Ramapriyam

Leave your thoughts on Valentine’s Day and the Valentine’s Day soundtrack in the comments. If you’re looking for a particular track leave a description and someone normally replies.

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36 Comments »

  • Sheridan Passell said

    I should have known you’d bring up the St. Valentine’s Day massacre. You old romantic.

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  • Kimerald said

    Hey! Happy Valentines Day everyone. Wish you all to have a very sweet moment with your loved ones.

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  • Gems said

    Hmmm… And I came here looking for those Indian tunes playing in the background at Jessica Biel’s party and then the dance number.
    Not even a mention of the song’s name or artist so I can find it as it’s not on the soundtrack

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  • as u like it said

    ummmm..the song playing while jen garner hammers the heart is kawa-kawa fom the movie monsoon wedding. u can search 4r it.
    tat was my fav. scene from the movie. this playlist isnt helpful at all for finding songs played in the movie….

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  • Abi said

    can any one tel me the ringtone used by anne hathway for her mobile….. any idea guys, plz help me plz, i need a site for downloadin it , or the soundtrack name

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  • Mikkel said

    Hi!

    Can anyone tell me the name of that song, which is being played, when we see Sean Jackson (Eric Dane irl) at the beach? He’s actually in his house looking at some womean working out (at the beach). Does anyone know? It sounds like Black Eyed Peas and like they sing: “Oh my heart, break it good, oh my heart, my heart” – but I can’t find anything about it.

    Thank you for your time – and a late “Happy Valentine” to you here from Denmark!

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  • tayla said

    Hey good movie !
    i was just wondering what the song was when there was an LAX sign up and i think it said California in it (:
    thank you
    please write back.

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  • Susana said

    Abi, and all those others interested,

    I was also looking for the ringtone used by Anne Hathaway in this movie. After 1 week of exhaustive search, I finally found out that the song in called Lovesick, by Lindstrom. You can hear it in Youtube. The first notes are the ones used for her ringtone.

    Cheers,

    Susana

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  • Tiffany Treadwell said

    I was also looking for the song when the football player first enters the movie and he starts talking to the girls on the beach too. Please help!

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  • Abi said

    Hi susana,
    thankz for the information. could u just post the exact site where i culd just get to download the song or the ringtone alone would be superb

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  • Joebob said

    Susana and everyone,

    I’m also looking for the ringtone used by Anne Hathaway in the movie and have not found it yet. While Lovesick by Lindstrom is a great song, IT IS NOT THE SAME SONG AS ANNE HATHAWAY’S RINGTONE IN THE MOVIE (listen to it again). If you listen to the ringtone in the movie again it’s much more funky and 70’s sounding and not the same son! Anone know what song the Anne Hathaway ringtone in the movies is from? I really want to know! Thanks.

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  • Abi said

    Hi susana & others

    I appreciate ur work and help for me of informing the ringtone, but i just listened to the original track but it is not the same one of lindstrom’s Lovesick….. its something else… plz somebody help

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  • Tiffany said

    If this helps, Anne’s phone was a Sprint Lotus so perhaps the ringer was built in already…who knows?

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  • Susana said

    It is not the same? Oh, I am so dissapointed now :-( Where can I watch the movie again? I saw it originally at the movies, but in order to listen again to the song I found a link in internet where I could watch it online (with a horrible quality), the file has been disabled now. So, I need to hear again the ringtone, and lets hope I can get it right this time.

    Cheers,

    Susana

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  • Dmitry said

    to Tiffany Treadwell, Mikkel
    Will I Am – Heartbreaker! nice song!

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