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Top 10 Bond One Liners

Bond has returned to our screens in Quantum of Solace, but without such classic lines as “Martini; shaken, not stirred”, and “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

Daniel Craig means it’s out with the one liners and in with the serious plot. For great puns you now have to delve deep into Bond’s prestigious/cheesy history. So let us cast our minds back to some of the most memorable quotes.

Here are Movie-Moron’s top ten best James Bond one liners.

10. Octopussy
best james bond quotes roger moore
Magda: “He suggests a trade. The egg for your life.”
Bond: “Well, I heard the price of eggs was up, but isn’t that a little high?”

9. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
best james bond quotes george lazenby
(A villain chases Bond and skis into a snow-blower, which then sprays red snow.)
Bond: “He had a lot of guts!”

8. Thunderball
best james bond quotes
(Whilst placing Fiona Volpe’s body in a chair after she is shot on the dance floor.)
Bond: “Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She’s just dead.”

7. Tomorrow Never Dies
best james bond quotes pierce brosnan
(Whilst Bond is in bed with his Scandinavian language tutor.)
Bond: “I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.”

6. Casino Royale
best james bond quotes daniel craig
(As Le Chiffre tortures Bond by striking his testicles with a carpet beater.)
Bond: “Now the whole world will know that you died scratching my balls.”

5th – 1st >

Also see: Top 10 James Bond Villains

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54 Comments »

  • Jay Hoyte said

    Octopu**y:

    After meeting with Vijay who is snake charming, Bond hands back the punji (snake charming instrument).

    “Here, you’ll need this to play with your asp”

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  • Jay Hoyte said

    Goldfinger:

    Bong is tied up as Goldfinger is “demonstrating” his laser cutting through gold

    Bond: “Do you expect me to talk?”

    Goldfinger: “No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!”

    (I know its not a Bond one but still up there with the classic Bond lines)

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  • Zakopane kwatery said

    Funny comments!

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  • strat said

    (what do you know about diamonds Mr. Bond)
    “well, they have a lot of value and probably replaced a dog as a girls best friend and thats about it”

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  • jasts said

    Now the world will know you died while scratching my balls

    that is the best death threat Ive ever heard

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  • Sam said

    Tomorrow Never Dies

    After punching out a smoking terrorist.

    “Filthy habit.”

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  • Mo said

    How can you leave out from Goldfinger:

    Bond: (after pushing an electric heater into a bathtub with a goon in in) “Shocking! Positively shocking!”

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  • HughJarse said

    I forget the movie, one of Pierce Brosnan’s:
    John Cleese: “Ah the famous double ‘O’ seven wit.
    Or at least half of it

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  • bonded agent said

    live and let die

    after he meets rosie carver he states he will lick her into shape and then proceeds to perform oral on her…

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  • noelskeulen said

    Yhis is my most memorable:

    From Goldfinger:

    Bond (Lying on a table with a laser aproaching his groin: Do you expect me to talk?
    Goldfinger: No Mister Bond, I axpect you to die!

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  • dan kerkar said

    “I only remember faces and figures.” James Bond to a woman

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  • tony said

    Plenty : I am Plenty
    Bond : ofcourse you are…

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  • Scorpio said

    Thunderball:

    Bond is about to be shot by Largo, but Domino puts a spear in his back, saving Bond.

    Domino: I’m glad I killed him.
    Bond: YOU’RE glad?!

    You Only Live Twice:

    Learning that Bond may have been with Helga Brandt.

    Aki: You wouldn’t touch that horrible woman, would you?
    Bond: Oh heaven forbid.

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  • moid said

    bond, james bond

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