Legend Of The Guardians: The Owls Of Ga’Hoole – Soundtrack24.09.10 # Soundtrack # 35 Comments
The Legend of the Guardians: the Owls of Ga’Hoole soundtrack. It’s a classic story. Boy makes some music in his bedroom that sounds suspiciously like a substandard Postal Service rip-off. Boy makes two albums of said music before some of those curious and well-informed experts who frequent MySpace become interested in large enough numbers to make him commercially viable. Boy signs to a major label. Boy calls himself Owl City, after his home town Owatonna, Minnesota. Major movie franchise about animated owls needs someone to make a theme song. Theme song needs to be syrupy and cheerful and all about owls. Those curious and well-informed executive producers come to the conclusion that the presence of the word owl in this boy’s moniker is too big a coincidence to put down to chance, and offer him lots of money to work on a song for their $180million budget owl movie. Boy, being the kind of musician who sits in his bedroom releasing song after song via the internet until someone is willing to pay him, is not the sort to turn down the offer of lots of money in exchange for a slice of syrupy cheerful keyboard crap with lyrics about owls.
Some guy who releases a wodge of derivative slush gets a load of hits on MySpace and so gets signed to a major label – this, ladies and gentlemen, is your music industry.
Happy Feet makes $384million worldwide, and so creators Village Roadshow and distributors Warner Bros decide that the key for success is animated birdlife – this, ladies and gentlemen, is your film industry.
But back to our story – owl boy meets website meets major label meets owl movie. Production company understand that a $180million dollar animated family movie requires a classy symphonic score to accompany it, since expensive movies are required to look and sound expensive in order to appease their investors and (they reason) appeal to a large audience share. Production company hires award winning Australian composer David Hirschfelder to create their owl score. Production company releases owl soundtrack album with one terrible, vomit-inducing scrap of cynicism from owl boy and thirteen tracks from award winning composer. Album has cute owls on the cover and is sure to appeal to fans of avian cinema.
There’s another story. It’s the Zack Snyder story. It goes like this:
Aspiring director, who likes flashy imagery but has no more idea of what to do with actors and characters than a 17th century Amazonian Indian would know what to do with an iPod shuffle, gets funding to make a flashy and soulless remake of a groundbreaking horror classic. There are enough cinema-goers who don’t care in the slightest about character and who are distracted by shiny images that said director gets the go-ahead to make a flashy image-driven vaguely homoerotic cartoon action thing about some Spartans. There are enough cinema-goers who enjoy flashy imagery and fighting and vague homoeroticism that the director’s reputation grows, and he’s allowed to make a flashy image-driven adaptation of a much loved classic graphic novel, despite the fact that he is still pawing about at his characters like a orang-u-tan with a digital camera. Production company behind money-making animated film about penguins need someone to direct a big budget animated film about owls. They decide that this owl movie needs flashy images of digital owls far more than interesting owl characters, and hire the now well known director. Director changes his name to Flashman and hires Owl Boy as his sidekick. They live happily ever after making superficial pap for the masses. Critics everywhere weep into their café lattes. Audiences don’t see what the big deal is.
Legend Of The Guardians Soundtrack – Track List
1. To The Sky – Owl City (3:39)
2. Flight Home (The Guardian Theme) – David Hirschfelder (3:51)
3. Taken To St Aggeles – David Hirschfelder (5:37)
4. Welcome To The Pellatorium – David Hirschfelder (4:51)
5. A Long Way To The Guardians – David Hirschfelder (5:57)
6. You Know We’re Flying – David Hirschfelder (2:37)
7. A Friend Or Two – David Hirschfelder (5:18)
8. The Boy Was Right – David Hirschfelder (4:04)
9. Sharpen The Battle Claws – David Hirschfelder (6:22)
10. Follow The Whale’s Fin – David Hirschfelder (5:11)
11. Into Battle – David Hirschfelder (5:07)
12. Hello Brother – David Hirschfelder (2:51)
13. My Soldiers My Sons – David Hirschfelder (3:27)
14. More Baggy Wrinkles – David Hirschfelder (3:19)
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