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Comment RSSTop 10 Worst Movies Of 2011 – Updated
21.12.11 # Top Ten # 16 Comments
One thing’s for sure, feature films aren’t getting any better. Every year has its sprinkling of truly bad movies, and 2011 is no different. So let’s grab our surf board and tackle this year’s turd tidal wave. Adam Sandler’s production company has been busy.
Here’s our round-up of the top 10 worst movies of 2011.
Season Of The Witch
I wish this was a remake of Halloween 3. Instead it’s Nicolas Cage trying to claw himself out of bankruptcy and helping another undeserving movie get green-lit by his involvement. This one’s a medieval action-horror that has more in common with Monty Python’s Holy Grail than it would like.
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
The trilogy is complete. The actress who played Martin Lawrence’s wife in the first two movies refused to come back so she could “hold her head up high.” Brandon T. Jackson is supposed to be 17 in the movie, but entirely looks like the 27 year old he is. Has a 5% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Sucker Punch
After taking terrific source material and turning it into average movies, Zack Snyder chooses to direct the first movie based on his own ideas. Turns out he has the unfocused, undisciplined mind of a 14 year old boy.
Zookeeper
Adam Sandler’s production company does it again. I don’t think it’s unfair to call this one of the most uninspired, deliberately calculated, soulless comedies in human history. Originally titled ‘Talking animals and Kevin James pratfalls equals cash for a bigger house’, Kevin James plays an overweight zookeeper inexplicably almost wooing one hottie and ending up with another. On screen he has more chemistry with the ape he takes to TGI Fridays, the purpose of which is to plug the restaurant. Dr. Doolittle is turning in his (fictional) grave.
The Dilemma
What’s amazing is how many comedies must have passed director Ron Howard’s desk in the last 40 years. Somehow this was the one that stood out. Demonstrating absolutely appalling judgement, he birthed a tonally-unclear comedy trying to get laughs out of someone cheating on their husband, using a script with no jokes. Even Vince Vaughn’s rubbery lips couldn’t improv their way out of this one.
Battle: Los Angeles
A trailer without character dialogue should have been the clue, this brain-dead invasion movie plays like a dull recruitment video for the US army with moronic storytelling, yawn inducing gun battles and characters leaping to all sorts of unlikely conclusions. Roger Ebert called it a step backwards for cinema.
Jack And Jill
It’s a tranny holiday treat for Adam Sandler fans. This has to be the laziest man-playing-a-woman act ever put to screen – at least Big Momma’s House made some effort to change the guy’s appearance and he was only meant to be in disguise. A new career low for Pacino.
Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil
Six years ago the first Hoodwinked had rubbish animation but a witty, charming script. Somebody wanted to cash in, so this lamely written sequel was made, with animation that’s somehow even worse than the first time round. Imagine 80 minutes of dull videogame cutscene with no skip button. Worst ‘vs.’ movie since Ecks vs. Sever.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1
See here
Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star
0% on Rotten Tomatoes. 2/10 from users on IMDB. Which makes it the 53rd worst movie ever made, tucked between Son of the Mask and Birdemic: Shock and Terror. Nick Swardson was handed a leading role and went full retard. Never go full retard.
Produced by Adam Sandler.
Setup
I’m not sure what the story is behind this film existing, but someone was threatened, bribed or backed into a corner. Bruce Willis hits rock bottom starring in a lethargically low-budget-looking action thriller opposite 50 ‘never seems to get any better at acting’ Cent. Ryan Phillippe can’t yell away the shame.
What do you think were the worst movies of 2011? Leave your thoughts in the comments.
That Tropic Thunder quote made me LOL
Although I haven’t seen as many movies as I’d like this year (& thankfully none on this list!) there have certainly been disappointments (Hop & Paul).
Paul wasn’t a patch on Shaun of the Dead but I thought it was quite decent.
Hop is pretty damn horrible by all accounts.
Attack the Block.
I had so much hope in Cornish and he gave me hateful chavs and asked me to root for them.
Yeah, I watched quite a few of those. I didn’t think Zookeeper was bad by any means, had some decent laughs for a family comedy. The Dilemma, Bucky larson, and Hall Pass (not on the list?) were all absolutely terrible though.
Cowboys & Aliens – far duller than that starting premise had any right to be
The Beaver – mawkish twaddle
Submarine – unforgivably smug garbage for garbage-hungry smuggos
Sucker Punch – low on decent action, high on girly sobbing, all set to the least hip soundtrack in movie history
Wuthering Heights – crap actors running up hills in the pissing rain. For two hours
Green Lantern – dull, mediocre, barely adequate. The main villain looked like a blobby poo
Sleeping Beauty – like Eyes Wide Shut meets Lost Highway, directed by a village idiot
The Thing – I didn’t expect anything to match Carpenter, but I never believed it could have been as bad as it turned out to be
Melancholia – amazing opening gives way to the cracked record of European cinema banging on and on and on with the same old diatribe
Scream 4 – the ‘media satire’ element was like getting a lecture on the empty perils of easy fame from Simon Cowell
Where is ‘The red riding hood’! That is the whole sh*t!
The Thing.
I enjoyed The Thing quite a bit. Not perfect but it had a lot going for it. Not sure how it would make any worst of lists, hell, compared to The Fog remake or the Halloween remake it’s a masterpiece.
Bad CGI, didn’t follow on from the first one because the ship was clearly blown up near the ice’s surface. not in cave. In the Thing 82, The Norwegian camp had no more than 12 people stationed there, In this one the camp seems to have mutated into the UN. Too many flame throwers and there were no flat screen computers in 82. The set up made no sense. Why would the Norwegians invite that many foreigners? Basically, your being asked to believe that Norway is so short of brains that they will take junior US scientist and a bunch of imported numbskull monster fodder to what would be the biggest find in human history! Not only that, but Norway is artic so they would have better trained personel in the first place. Then your supposed to accept that these men would take orders from a tiny wee foreign lass, who they would actually have told to beep off or locked in a closet! The first film had proper internal logic. In 82 those camps were small, all male and didn’t really cooperate with eachother because they were there to protect national interests in the region, in case there was oil or othe resources. This film was in fact a prequel to the game and it was too much like Alien V Predator. But if you liked it fine, I hated and thought was bad movie on lots of levels.
- Cave: At the end of the movie when the ship is attempting to take off it melts the ice above it, shifts up and the explosion leaves it where they find it in the original.
- They are almost entirely Norwegian. The only foreigners there are one French woman (who seems to be a Norwegian’s partner) and one Brit. They don’t invite an American, they invite Sander, a Norwegian living in New York and he hires MEW before he leaves since she is an expert on fossil autopsies, it’s extremely doubtful they would have an expert on fossil autopsies in the camp. The other Americans are the guys flying the chopper in, and Sander’s PHD assistant guy.
- They don’t take instructions from her at all, she is laughed at and ignored. It’s only a considerable time later when the alien is running amok and she figures it out that they start to listen to her, which you would in that situation, and even then half the camp don’t like her.
- You can talk about the logic of the ’82 movie but even Carpenter said he had no idea what those men were doing there. Do we actually know what arctic camps were like back then?
- There were some ropey cg fx, that’s true, caused because the studio made then change from practically shot fx after a test audience gave poor scores. Not the filmmakers’ fault. Some of the early cg is good. Let’s not forget the terrible claymation (even for the time) at the end of Carpenter’s Thing and the poor facial transformation on Palmer.
Is it a patch on Carpenter’s original? No, absolutely not. But it’s a very unfairly criticised film that made a real effort. Carpenter’s The Thing got exactly the same negative reaction when it came out. Over time it will be appreciated more.
Yes we do know what these camps were like. I watched a doc on the subject. Lot’s of bearded men. no women, lots of booze, nothing to do, lots of arguments and they were mainly staffed as national outposts to stop other coutries claiming the entire region.
As for the rest of it. I seem to remember that Thing(2011)opens with a truck dispearing down a ravine and that’s how they discover the ship. Also. no archeologist would cut that creature out of the ice in a block, they would uncover it on site very very carefully. And I still say that in an heavily disputed that no Noewegian would allow any outsiders there whatsoever when they’ve just discovered the find of our entire history, no matter how pretty or because they Bumped into them in New York. As for aircrews from other nations, not a chance.
I stick by the rest of it. The Thing (2011) was designed as a remake, named as a remake and only changed to shut criticism down. As I say I think it sucks the big one, but that’s me. Other people are entitled to their view,.
If I might interject without appearing too rude; there is a scene in the JC The Thing where they state – whilst watching the collected Norwegian footage of the find – something along the lines of; ” . . .and those damned Swedes blew it up.” This makes me think that JC ran parallel with the original (plus the short story) in that thermite was used to clear the find, it reacted with the metal of the ship and caused severe damage to it.
For me, The Thing sequel IS the worst film of 2011 purely because it had so much to work with and, well, basically ignored it all. And I so wanted it to be great (which makes it my fault).
Plus, most if not all of the above titles have been avoided by me thanks to the guidance from yourself or other well informed commentators. So I can’t comment on them.
I’ll still buy The Thing (2011) when it’s released. I don’t know why. Perhaps in a vague hope that somewhere amongst the bundled extras there’ll be a heart-rending explanation as to the reasoning behind the producers ignorance and the directors lack of back-bone (or vice-versa).
This is one of those back and forths that could go on for pages. We’re both passionate about Carpenter’s The Thing and perceive the 2011 movie differently. I’m sad that after it bombed financially I’ll probably never see another Thing movie in my lifetime – farewell my favourite movie monster.
I agree. The Joke is that I will almost certainly buy a copy when it comes out. There were a couple of scenes where it seemed to gel and I am a sucker for beasty pictures.
Interestingly, the writer of this film says that it was shot with mostly practical effects and that the studio imposed the CGI. It doesn’t surprise me that it bombed. The 82 version bombed in the first place. It was a doomed project. They might as well of made this in Norwegian and made people like me happy. This is my problem with the remake/reboot cycle. The studio’s are trying to play it so safe that they will even re-do stuff that only made it’s money back as a VHS during the video boom or are flinging money at films that were only hits because the budgets were small enough to make a profit. Back in 80s films could take a profit on 3 to 4 million dollars. Today, it’s crazy money and they expect everything to be a blockbuster.
Noticing that two movies here had Adam Sandler in them, I thought anyone who had an interest in this would like to read my blog on how Adam Sandler’s new movies are terrible.
http://uninterestingscot.wordpress.com/
I’m just starting up and any help in getting me more readers would be great, thankyou.
I’ve only seen one movie on this list(Battle: Los Angeles, and is the worst movie I’ve seen all year) though I suppose thats a good thing. Soul Surfer, The Way Back, Scream 4, and Drive were pretty bad even though they didnt get as terrible reviews as these movies. You can tell all these movies are piles of crap just by the trailers.
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Post By Sheridan Passell
21st Dec
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