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Comment RSSTop 10 Worst Sequels To Great Movies
3.08.12 # Top Ten # 16 Comments5. Jurassic Park III
Tip for success: open your summer blockbuster with a pun.
Spielberg wisely stayed away from the director’s chair for this installment, a wet hot mess of gibberish that was written one month before filming began, after the original premise was abandoned. Forced to carve a story around sets and stunts that were already built, the result was: a talking velociraptor. Also, the producers chose kill a T-Rex, the world’s most popular dinosaur, and replace it with a giant crocodile with a fin hot-glued to its back. Even if one can forgive the weak story, it’s impossible to get past Joe Johnson’s cartoony directing choices, often speeding up the film when his actors reacted to the dinos, making William H. Macy look even more like a Looney Tunes character.
Lowest point:
4. The Blues Brothers 2000
Watching dailies.
Titled Blues Brothers 2000 even though it was released in 1998, this sequel replaced the deceased (and genius) John Belushi with the husband from Roseanne. It was all downhill from there. The dull dialog, forgettable musical numbers, and asinine magical elements destroyed all credibility, culminating in a mind-numbing finale where Erykah Badu turns everyone into bright green zombies.
Lowest point:
3. Batman and Robin
We want you to die of shame.
Legend has it that Joel Schumacher saw George Clooney’s picture on a magazine, covered up the top portion of his head, and thought his chin looked fabulous. With that level of thought going into every major creative decision it’s hard to imagine they made anything short of a masterpiece … but he pun-filled one-liners, campy stunts, and homo-erotic undertones so utterly destroyed the franchise that it took seven years for the studio to try again.
Lowest point – here
2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
“It’ll get better, right?” – The Audience
From the cartoon gopher to the head-exploding aliens, Indy 4 is chock full of horrible scenes. But the worst is when monkeys teach Indy’s son to swing on vines so he can lead them on a revolt against their cold-war oppressors. This flick also changed pop-culture vernacular with the phrase “Nuke the Fridge,” in reference to the scene where our aging hero survives a ground-zero nuclear blast in a refrigerator.
Lowest point:
1. Highlander II: The Quickening
Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert share a moment of silence for their dead artistic integrity.
The original Highlander has a brilliant concept … but the sequel worked hard to crush its fan base by completely ignoring the events of the first film, going as far as to resurrect a dead character with no explanation and deconstruct the magical theme by weaving an interstellar science-fiction origin story. Years later the director tried to make amends by re-editing a “Renegade Version” of the film, trying to dupe fans into thinking the “off planet” scenes really took place in a long forgotten civilization in Earth’s ancient past … again failing to realize that the man character was not even BORN until the 1500s.
Lowest point:
Honorable Mention: Alien: Resurrection, The Matrix: Revolutions, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, and the Terrible Twos: The Exorcist II: Heretic, Poltergeist II: The Other Side, and Airplane II: The Sequel.
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Jaws: The Revenge creeped me out so much as a kid. I think it’s because it doesn’t quite make sense – that a shark would seek revenge in the Bahamas, that shots are missing, that it’s filmed in such an amateurish off-key way – it’s very much like a nightmare in that regard.
…I’m not saying it isn’t a steaming pile of sh*t.
I would of thought Ghostbusters 2 and the direct to dvd Lost Boys sequels would of been in there. But crappy sequels is a rich vein of material
Jaws;The Revenge just proves that Michael Caine can act in anything and make it entertaining. I especially love the end scene. The swimming pool water gently lapping against a painted grey sky as Hoagie and Helen stare meaningfully into each others eyes is a master stroke. Apart from anything else for the entire movie the sky was crystal clear.
The greatest/strongest bad sequel ever made is The Exorcist II: The Heretic. That one is a mind boggler.
Caddyshack II anyone?
you know…………..gremlins 1 was awesome but gremlins 2 sucked!
JCVD’s Kickboxer suffers the same fate. Gawd awful sequals.
Again… why is “Speed” good? Is it the cardboard acting of Keanu (just listen to him try to compliment her driving), the impossible things the bus does around corners and jumping without enough speed, then continues to work, etc…? Maybe if they remembered to make it a cartoon this film would have been alright. Of course it made money so that means it’s “good”. The sequel didn’t make it any worse.
Keanu was a bit wooden, but Speed is a good movie. Arnie was a bit wooden in all his movies but that doesn’t mean he didn’t make some action classics. Speed 2 was dull, lacked any charisma and was painfully miscalculated at the concept stage (a ‘speeding cruise liner’?).
Son of the mask was an insult to the original(movie). jim carey owned that role and I demand a re-remake with him in it!
Crystal Skull destroyed Indy.
For some reason they thought that Harrison Ford was too old to carry the film as the leading man and wanted to give him a son and wanted to find a young guy to carry the part of a ‘manly man’ but instead they wound up with Sheila Laboof.
…who was adequate in Even Stevens and rather cute in Holes but too girly to be an action hero for Indy or Transformers.
and now Indiana Jones is but a memory of what once was a great movie series.
Sorry to say that you totally missed the point about Highlander 2. Of course MacLeod wasn’t born until 1500, he was sent into the future and REINCARNATED ! Immortals came from Zeist, a lost civilization in the past and banished at randoms points in the future, reincarnated with no memories of their future past. How does it ignore the 1st movie ? MacLeod made the shield precisely because of winning the prize at the end of Highlander 1, which made him both mortal and able to understand everyone thoughts, making him ubber intelligent. Actually it’s the only Highlander sequel that stays true to the original’s ending. The series and later films retconned the ending. It angers me that most of people didn’t understand the film and then claim that it was inconsistent, when it absolutely wasn’t !
Oh and Ramirez resurrected with no explanation ? Really ? Were you sleeping in the beginning ? There’s a whole scene where Ramirez linked himself to Connor with a magical bound that can’t be broken, even by death and that if he wants him back he just have to call his name. It’s explained AND shown in the movie.
You do realize just how utterly ludicrous EVERY SINGLE plot point you listed is, right? Sorry, the movie was awful- and the original was excellent.
The original is way better, sure. But I don’t see how it is ludicrous. Immortals come from the dawn of time, where they ruled the world and dominated mortals. Mortals and immortals who refuse their dictatorship are exiled in the future in random times, reborn as immortals, but only to be forced to fight other immortals. And only the survivor of this game could come back to his time. How is it more ludicrous than the whole point of the first movie ??? It’s just supernatural, a bit sci fi too. Yeah so what ?
The second Back to the Future was depressing, the second Ghostbusters and Crocodile Dundee each disappointing, and all three of those were hopelessly derivative … but the third Naked Gun doesn’t even try to jump over the bar, it listlessly drags its feet until it’s ten feet away and then charges headlong into it!
I like superhero movies, and “Superman III” was disappointing enough. So much so that my Mom never took the family to see “Superman IV”. We saw it on cable, and were all so disgusted. Glad the money didn’t get wasted on movie tickets, but appalled that our cable service aired the trash.
As for “Batman and Robin”, this article has some of the story right. I remember the exact story of how Joel Schumacher chose George Clooney, as Schumacher told it himself in an interview at the time.
Scumacher was on a flight reading a magazine. He did see George Clooney’s picture in that magazine, that much is correct. Schumacher then drew the Batman mask on Clooney’s face, and in Schumacher’s words, Clooney “looked faaaabulous”.
I never forgot it since it was so stereotypical of a gay director. They cast using their head below the waist, and not the one above their neck. Hence why gay cinema stinks like it does. And I say this as a mostly gay bisexual, so this critique of Joel Schumacher is not homophobia talking. It’s reality.
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Post By Dalmatian Jaws
3rd Aug
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