Horror Movies 2013 – Guide1.01.13 # Horror Movies # 9 Comments
Let’s take a look at the biggest and best horror movies of 2013. The scary list features the usual mix of remakes (‘Evil Dead’), adaptations (‘World War Z’) and original fare (’7500′). We’ll go through the good and bad to find the gems. Here’s our definitive guide to the best new horror movies, 2013 :
Texas Chainsaw 3D
Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Tania Raymonde, Trey Songz
Director: John Luessenhop
Released: 4 January 2013 (U.S. Dates)
A young woman travels to Texas with her friends to collect an inheritance; little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward. This is a direct sequel to the original 1974 version (although set in the present day) which ignores the events of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2′ (1986), ‘Leatherface’ (1990) and ‘TCM: Next Generation’ (1994). It also has nothing to do with the rebooted 2003 version or its prequel, since Michael Bay’s team have dropped the series and it’s been picked up by Twisted Pictures/Lionsgate. Newcomer Dan Yeager is playing the chainsaw-wielding Leatherface. Franchise alumni Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, John Dugan, and Bill Moseley will make appearances. The writers with screenplay credit are bargain basement and the director of the mediocre ‘Takers’ is new to the horror genre. Production values will be decent but don’t expect much more than that.
A Haunted House
Starring: Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins, Nick Swardson, Cedric the Entertainer
Director: Michael Tiddes
Released: 11 January 2013
The first of two horror-spoofs this year, this one’s an R-rated parody of ‘Paranormal Activity’ and exorcism movies. When newlyweds (Wayans and Atkins) move into their dream house, they quickly find they’re not alone. But it’s not the house that’s haunted, it’s her that is possessed with spirits – or as he calls it – “relationship baggage.” Soon he’s using the help of a psychic (Swardson), a priest (Cedric) and ghost hunters to exorcise her. Wayans was one of the creators of ‘Scary Movie’ but this looks far worse. The first joke in the trailer is a fart gag and it goes downhill from there. Stay away. Unless you’re 14.
Starring: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier
Director: Andres Muschietti
Released: 18 January 2013
A couple are faced with the challenge of raising their feral young nieces when they are discovered in a forest after being lost for five years. Soon it becomes apparent that the girls are being haunted by a ghostly woman, who they believe to be their dead mother. Guillermo del Toro is serving as exec producer and that’s usually a good thing. Star Jessica Chastain, looking unrecognisable, is high calibre for this type of material – her recent credits include ‘The Help’, ‘Tree of Life’, and ‘Lawless’, and she’s frontrunner to win Best Actress for ‘Zero Dark Thirty’. Early word is ‘Mama’s not quite as effective as the director’s excellent short on which it’s based, but it’s still tense and creepy, based in large part on the children’s performances.
John Dies At The End
Starring: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti, Clancy Brown, Angus Scrimm
Director: Don Coscarelli
Released: 25 January 2013
Two dropout slackers are on ‘soy sauce’, a drug which causes its users to drift into alternative realities. When they realise Earth is the subject of an otherworldly invasion they have to travel to an alternative dimension to stop it. This is based on the novel, which was originally published online as a popular free webserial. The movie’s teaser trailer barely made any sense but had a charm all its own. Coscarelli is a highly entertaining ‘horror-fun’ director. Anyone who’s seen the excellent ‘Phantasm II’ will be excited by what he could do with this material.
Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters
Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Released: 25 January 2013
Tonally similar to ‘Evil Dead II’, this has siblings Hansel (Renner) and Gretel (Arterton), 15 years after the gingerbread house incident, working as badass witch hunters. We’re told to expect a steampunk vibe mixed with a slight Goth edge and hyper-cartoon violence/R-rate gore. The director of ‘Dead Snow’ makes his US debut. This is part of an odd recent Hollywood trend for taking children’s stories and turning them into horror/thriller/action movies. Hopefully the excellent Jeremy Renner can turn ‘Witch Hunters’ into something more than a mildly-entertaining diversion.
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, Rob Corddry, John Malkovich, Dave Franco
Director: Jonathan Levine
Released: 1 February 2013
Adaptation of the zombie romance novel which made allusions to Romeo and Juliet. A young zombie wanders through the devastation of the apocalypse, craving human brains to get high on their memories. One female brain makes him fall in love with the victim’s friend. He rescues her from his deadly zombie pack and their adventure together begins. The movie is produced by the studio behind ‘Twilight’. It’ll be heavy on voiceover as the lead zombie can only use grunts and simple syllables. Malkovich plays a villainous General intent on wiping out zombie-kind. Director Levine is very credible after ‘The Wackness’ and ’50/50′, he could surprise us here. Can’t say I’m too excited about it at the moment though.