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Top 10 Chick Flicks Of 2013

Top 10 Best Chick Flicks 2013 (Movies) inc. DVDFrom Woman of Steel to Star Trek: Into Pinkness, 2013 saw Hollywood once again shamelessly pandering to a female audience, as young white males around the globe were left desperately short of viewing options. The poor lambs.

Er, not quite true, of course – which is why I’ve had to cobble together this Top 10 Best Chick Flicks of 2013 from a relatively limited field. Read on to find out what made the countdown…

10th. Austenland

Best Chick Flicks 2013
Pity poor Jane Austen. Going down in literary history as one of the finest purveyors of the written word will only ever be seen as a Dusty Bin of a consolation prize for the fact she couldn’t land herself a fella. Yeah, she one sad lady, like Jennifer Aniston.

But, on the plus side, just shy of two centuries after ol’ Jane bought the farm, her memory was honoured by Jerusha Hess making a movie about a young woman going on an Austen-themed vacation. Another mere consolation prize?

Offer the same deal to Dan Brown – he’d bite your hand off like it was made of tasty dollar bills.

9th. The To Do List

Best Chick Flick Movies 2013 DVD
Aubrey Plaza is being mocked about being a virgin. Well, she is almost 30. Oh, right, yeah, she’s meant to be college age. Gotcha. Very convincing.

The To Do List saw Plaza playing Brandy Klark (same name, slightly different spelling to Rom the Spaceknight’s girlfriend. Look. It. Up), a young woman determined to explore the rich variety of sexual acts available to male-female combos with the same zealousness she brings to her straight-A studies.

Does she succeed? Does she learn a few life lessons along the way? Can you fit your fist into your mouth? Why’s there a little hole in a biro? Is there a God? Discuss.

8th. About Time

Top Chick Flicks 2013
Here’s an odd fact for you: I’m writing this article on my lunch at work and as I type these very words, Richard Curtis, the writer-director of About Time, is downstairs in the exact same building I am. Yes, he is. Just like When a Stranger Calls.

Another odd fact for you: Mr Lurking Curtis and his pals at Working Title choose NOT to publicise About Time with my glowing critical endorsement of it: ‘Definitely the best British time travel movie since the one about the time machine in the pub bog.’

7th. The Big Wedding

Best Chick Flick 2013
Just 18 short years ago, having just toplined the tediously high quality pair of Heat and Casino, Robert De Niro decided that, goddammit, he was sick of his status as the most revered actor of his generation. All those glowing reviews. All those fawning glad-handers. No, if he was ever going to star in dross, it was now or never.

Spin on just shy of two decades and boy oh boy, has Bob ever made some sh*t while the sun’s been shining.

The Score. Godsend. Stardust. The Fockers. Machete, in which he shamelessly mugged like he was auditioning to play Captain Hook in panto. Sure, there’s been the odd Silver Linings-style misstep, but on the whole, De Niro’s kept up the crap quota – ticking it this year with The Big Wedding, in which he was dudded up like Kenny f**king Rogers.

6th. The Bling Ring

Best Chick Flicks 2013
In Somewhere, her story of an ennui-addled heartthrob actor, Sofia Coppola mused that contemporary celebrity culture is a trifle shallow.

In The Bling Ring, her story of A-list-obsessed teens (well, if you count Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Rachel Bilson as A-list…), Sofia Coppola mused that contemporary celebrity culture is a trifle un-deep.

Sigh. Thanks for trying, Sofe.

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  • Sheridan Passell said
    Sheridan Passell

    I didn’t know Jane Austen bought a farm?

    … omg I just found out she’s dead.

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  • Lady P said

    uhm, for me the best chick flicks in 2013 were Warm Bodies and Before Midnight. they serve as a living truth that fairytales do come true and that happily ever after do exist. 🙂

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  • JP said

    Saving Mr Banks looked like a chick-flick to me. How come it didn’t make your list?

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    • Sosie said

      Chick flicks is like Mean Girls and Clueless not family movies chickfliks are for girls and they have explicit language

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  • Dee said

    One could probably argue if this movie is a chick flick, but I loved “Blue Jasmine”, for me the best film of the year. But you are so right, they just stopped making good movies for women, all we are bombarded with nowadays are action and super hero films, boring! You think at least the super hero could be a girl, except for Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) there were very slim pickings in this department…

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  • Laura said

    Jane Austen is not famous for being unmarried. Look. It. Up.

    I cringe for you.

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