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10 Movies With Worse Weather Than The Polar Vortex‏

6. The Matrix

When this film came out, it blew my mind and probably yours too. Even over a decade later, it still is the go-to reference for so much about our society that it seems incredible to imagine we ever had cultural references about politics, oppression and technology before it came along.

But it’s not the first film you think about when you’re talking about weather.

However, if you recall, there is a pretty powerful explanation of the history of the world into which Neo emerges. Morpheus (in a totally badass red leather chair with retro television set) describes how, in an attempt to wipe out the machines, humans waged a global nuclear war that left the sky in permanent darkness and the earth uninhabitable.

“Welcome,” he says. “to the desert of the real.”

I still get chills when I see it. And when I was making this list, this was one of the first movies that came to mind. It was either this or Terminator 2, and since you can only have one machine-related nuclear holocaust I chose the one where it was humans and not Skynet that launched the missiles. Because I live in a cold fortress of hatred and pain where no love for mankind intrudes. Also, Rage Against The Machine.

And what of man’s hubris? Ask the British military who actually created SkyNet.

“Fate, it seems,” says Morpheus. “is not without a sense of irony.”

And they also say that art imitates life. Or is it the other way around?

Weather Forecast: Overcast, with sunglasses.


5. Twister

The clue is in the name. Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt chase tornados in Jan de Bont’s follow-up to Speed. So basically he went from a film about a bus going fast that was called Speed to a film about tornados that was called Twister. Well, they do say that the Dutch are a straight-talking bunch.

Twister was remarked upon at the time of its release for having ground-breaking special effects, Jan de Bont was flying high (sorry) from the success of Speed and his two stars are both on characteristically believable and sympathetic form. It’s no shock that this movie made this list, but one of the key criteria for all the films included here was that the weather be unexpected.

So why is it unexpected that tornados would appear in the American Mid-West during tornado season. Hint: they call it ‘tornado season’, so the answer is that it isn’t. What is unexpected, in both the movie and in the weather, is the idea of having a cow fly past not once, but twice. Bizarre humour and excellent timing of the delivery of the relevant lines make this a gold star choice.

Weather Forecast: Cow!

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5 Comments »

  • dnwilliams said

    Good list! I’d add GROUNDHOG DAY – any weather that has you stuck in a small town reliving the same day over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over has to count as bad.

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    • Eli Haven said

      Believe me, it was on my long list, but I had to go with bigger, more central weather events that also can be classed as abnormal. A blizzard in February wasn’t out-of-the-ordinary enough, even though Groundhog Day is a movie I watch again and again and again and again and again and you get my drift.

      If you can, get hold of Danny Rubin’s original screenplay for it. It’s way darker, with a lot more violence and psychosis. He wrote a book about making it into a family comedy – https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-To-Write-Groundhog-Day-ebook/dp/B0072PEV6U

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      • dnwilliams said

        Sweet! We were just discussing reccomended screenplays in the forum, I’ll have to check that out at some point.

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  • Sheridan Passell said
    Sheridan Passell

    Hard Rain looks like it was utterly miserable to make.

    Morpheus would make a great weatherman. “What if I told you snow was coming?”

    I just checked Absolute Zero’s Rotten Tomatoes score. Guess what. Absolute zero.

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  • drmoose said

    blade runner

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