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10 Movies With Worse Weather Than The Polar Vortex‏

2. The Perfect Storm

Worst Weather In Movies
Out of all the films on this list, The Perfect Storm has perhaps the best pedigree: George Clooney, John C. Reilly, Mark Wahlberg, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and all this directed by Wolfgang Petersen. An embarrassment of riches. Petersen has form on the high seas with the incredible Das Boot, and who can forget Mastrantonio’s turn as ‘the bitch’ in The Abyss? Clooney could make reading a wine list moving and accessible and no salt of the earth is saltier than Messrs. Wahlberg and Reilly.

One could even say it is a perfect storm of talent.

Sorry.

But seriously, a perfect storm in the middle of an ocean and a group of fishermen have to fight that harsh mistress, the sea, and in the process pay the ultimate price. Which is death, in case you’re not used to euphemisms. And it’s a true story. Totally brutal, and that’s why it’s worse than the polar vortex.

Watch them ride that wave for their lives and tell me you’re not clenching up just a little. Go on. I dare you.

Weather Forecast: Water, water, everywhere, and just one boat to sink.


1. Sharknado

I won’t even belabour this point by going into detail. All I will say is that this movie combines a tornado and sharks. It is the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of B-movies.

Sharks, a tornado, Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, a chainsaw and hilarity, all of which I assume is intentional. Right?

And as far as weather goes, ask the residents of Chicago if they’d rather have a frozen lake, or sharks flying at them from a spinning column of wind like the wrath of a surrealist God and I think they’d choose the frozen lake. You can’t ice-skate on flying sharks.

Wait a minute! I think I know what the sequel will be!

Weather Forecast: Windy, with inevitable chomping-to-death from above.

Trailer –

5 minute compilation of all the best bits –


Additional: This Polar Vortex has sparked off the usual back-and-forth about whether cold weather disproves climate change, a subject we won’t get into here. But just in case anybody from Fox News is reading, the following clip is from the criminally underrated Terry Jones film Erik the Viking in which the King (played by Terry Jones not dressed as a woman for a change) presides over his sinking island.

Think about it.

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5 Comments »

  • dnwilliams said

    Good list! I’d add GROUNDHOG DAY – any weather that has you stuck in a small town reliving the same day over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over has to count as bad.

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    • Eli Haven said

      Believe me, it was on my long list, but I had to go with bigger, more central weather events that also can be classed as abnormal. A blizzard in February wasn’t out-of-the-ordinary enough, even though Groundhog Day is a movie I watch again and again and again and again and again and you get my drift.

      If you can, get hold of Danny Rubin’s original screenplay for it. It’s way darker, with a lot more violence and psychosis. He wrote a book about making it into a family comedy – https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-To-Write-Groundhog-Day-ebook/dp/B0072PEV6U

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      • dnwilliams said

        Sweet! We were just discussing reccomended screenplays in the forum, I’ll have to check that out at some point.

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  • Sheridan Passell said
    Sheridan Passell

    Hard Rain looks like it was utterly miserable to make.

    Morpheus would make a great weatherman. “What if I told you snow was coming?”

    I just checked Absolute Zero’s Rotten Tomatoes score. Guess what. Absolute zero.

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  • drmoose said

    blade runner

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