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Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael: Round #6

Freddy Krueger vs Jason Voorhees vs Michael Myers: Movie ShowdownFor the 8 days leading up to the release of the Friday The 13th remake, there’s a Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael movie showdown.

I haven’t seen the originals since I was a kid and I’ve never bothered with the sequels, so it’s time to hit up Blockbuster and finally figure out who is the reigning king of horror, round by round.

Round #6
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives — Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare — Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

THE LOSER: FREDDY’S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE

Freddy Krueger vs Jason Voorhees vs Michael Myers: Movie Showdown
Taking a break from being scary, Freddy decides to go parachuting in the middle of a horror film.

Just when you thought George Lucas had used up the world’s supply of insipid, you see this movie and realize there’s still plenty for everyone.

Producers of the sixth and “final” Freddy movie needed a rousing finale to satisfy their faithful fans, so they structured their opus’s theme around the life mantra of their favorite insect, the African dung beetle.

Eat sh*t and die.

This is pure, unadulterated awful. Freddy plays video games. The plot is bizarre. Freddy kills a kid with a loud noise. Now THAT’S scary!

Don’t ever watch this film, not even for the Johnny Depp cameo.

Scariest Part: Roseanne Bar and Tom Arnold in a frighteningly pudgy cameo.
Worst Part: When floating worm Muppets explode from Freddy’s head.
Unintentionally Funny Part: “Here, take these 3-D glasses.” *wink*

THE RUNNER-UP: HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS

Freddy Krueger vs Jason Voorhees vs Michael Myers: Movie Showdown
Donald Pleasance hangs up with his agent, and immediately regrets his decision to take Halloween 6.

The Halloween franchise (excusing the third installment) is the last of these franchises to descent into bizarro world. In part 6 we discover that not only is Michael Myers misunderstood, but that if he doesn’t kill off his whole family than the world will end.

So what, he’s a good guy?

The director takes a note from Hitchcock’s book and then burns it, choosing to show Michael Myers as much as possible, and in full light, with lots of people waling around in wide open spaces.

Scariest Part: When Michael turns on the motorized pitchfork, just to make sure she’s good and minced.
Worst Part: The plot.
Unintentionally Funny Part: Paul Rudd’s rune deciphering computer software from the 1990s.

THE WINNER: FRIDAY THE 13th PART VI: JASON LIVES

Freddy Krueger vs Jason Voorhees vs Michael Myers: Movie Showdown
Oops.

After the lackluster break that was Part V, Jason is back … from the dead no less.

At this point the franchise turns to ridiculous camp as Jason is resurrected by LIGHTNING. Also, the self-referencing humor is largely apparent in a shot where the kooky cemetery groundskeeper looks at the camera and rants about how “this isn’t entertaining.”

Still, this film gets winner status just because it’s so great to see the masked dude back in his own franchise.

Scariest Part: The VW Bug couple getting killed in the mud.
Worst Part: Trapped in the lake … REALLY?
Unintentionally Funny Part: Jason’s lightning resurrection.

SUMMARY
As the franchises get sillier, Jason still pack the most punch, and judging from the roman numerals he also outlasts everyone else.

CURRENT SCORE
Freddy – 2
Jason – 3
Michael – 1

Previous Rounds:
Round #1: Friday The 13th -vs- A Nightmare On Elm Street -vs- Halloween
Round #2: Friday The 13th Part 2 -vs- Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge -vs- Halloween II
Round #3: Friday The 13th 3D -vs- Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors -vs- Halloween III
Round #4: Friday The 13th Part 4 -vs- Elm Street 4: Dream Master -vs- Halloween 4
Round #5: Friday V: A New Beginning -vs- Elm Street 5: Dream Child -vs- Halloween 5

The Fight Continues:
Round #7: Friday VII: The New Blood -vs- New Nightmare -vs- H20
Round #8: Jason Takes Manhattan -vs- Halloween: Resurrection
Round #9: Jason Goes to Hell & Jason X

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15 Comments »

  • Tim said

    Jason won… Theres no way Freddy or Michael can catch up.
    Round #9 is both Jason movies. So he wins.

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  • Garry said

    I have always visited this site because of the great info but this comparison of Jason vs Freddy vs Michael is getting ridiculous. Jason winning in a landslide? Just don’t understand it. Ya he early Jason’s are great but they just get ridiculous later. I mean Jason in space? Jason takes Manhattan? Freddy vs. Jason? Wow, all sucked. Freddy to me except for his first were all just crazy in the sense that the most random things happen that just ruin the movies. Michael Meyers loses the 1st round? Most classic horror movie ever, I’m sorry. 1st two round easily Michael just off story alone. Of course his later ones are not as good but 5 is much better than you giving it credit for. And, upcoming match-ups, there is no question Michael can take them. I mean with how horrible Jason got and Michael has H20, which to me goes hand in hand with the first two. Very well done, again, story. Also, Rob Zombie’s remake is pretty damn insightful as far things we learn about Michael we wanted to know. No question Michael wins. New Jason looks damn good though. Looking forward to the new Freddy as well.

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  • Sheridan Passell said

    Jason might get disqualified…

    Remember this series is all just opinion, everyone has their own thoughts on these movies. For instance a lot of folk really dig the Halloween remake, but just as many feel the total opposite. But it’s all good for debate. That’s what the site is all about.

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  • Dalmatianjaws said

    This series is designed to be the only thing more ridiculous than the movies themselves. Don’t worry, it’s not in any way a professional critique. And half the notes are based on which villain is the most bad-ass depending on the installment, not necessarily the quality of the entire film.

    Unless the film is so suck it deserves to be shredded (so keep reading for the Jason X article!)

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  • Hawkeye said

    I think Michael Myers still has a chance to catch up because his movies are great. I think freddy will fall into 3rd and Myers will move up to 2nd and possibly 1st, but Jasons new movie is great.

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  • Truthspeaks said

    1. Michael Myers
    2. Jason Voorhies
    3. Freddy Kruger

    It’s pretty close between Micheal Myers and Jason but I think Michael wins by a landslide. Freddy can’t compete.

    Just my opinion…

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  • mj orberson said

    i think jason vorhees will outdo all of them,but then again i would like to see chucky beat all of them.

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  • mj orberson said

    chucky is pretty tough i mean don’t get me wrong i really like jason.

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  • freddytight said

    Damn im a huge Freddy,Jason, and Michael fan so i really dont know who to choose as a winner especially after the damn remakes Jason is faster and a hell of alot smarter Michael is f**king awesome and Freddy is going to be morbid but i would say no body cause they dont die so if there is a winner its the last man standing i’d say Michael.

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  • vince said

    jason and micael are both pretty good but im going with jason.

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  • MALIK said

    i dont care if its jason or michael who wins but freddy dont stand a chance.

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  • john said

    if u ask me the new halloweens suck they ruin the original halloweens if u ask me they could both go to hell

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  • DaGuy said

    I tihnk jason is better caz he can smash ppl but i like mike myers as well there both brilliant FREDDY DONT STAN A CHANCE

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  • TRAVIS said

    I THINK MICHEAL MYERS WILL WOOP FREDDY. FREDDY WILL GET KILLED BY JASON TOO CUSE HE KILLED HIS MOTHER. ALSO MICHEAL MYERS WILL KILL JASON CUZ JASON CANE DIE, CUZ YOU NOTICED THAT JASON DIES IN ALMOST EVERY FRIDAY 13TH.

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  • Joe said

    Jason is big and strong, Freddy is a guy who was dumb enough to play with fire, And Micheals is just weird. So Freddy with his tiny etal claw, And Micheal with……. A cooking knife!?!?!? And last but not least, Jason with his huge chainsaw, Knife(s), Axe ect. No clear winner here, :P

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