Fast & Furious Soundtrack11.05.09 # Soundtrack # 9 Comments
The Fast & Furious soundtrack. Do you like cars? Really really like cars? Do you like muscular men? Do you not really care about the standard of a film’s dialogue? Then chances are you also like hip-hop. Apparently. That’s how it works you see. Hip-hop goes with shiny cars that go really really fast, and men with bafflingly over-developed pecs running around looking cross with each other.
Now, there was a time when a film like Fast & Furious would have been soundtracked by, oh, I don’t know, Van Halen, Poison, maybe an uplifting Bon Jovi number. Crass, idiotic mainstream trash with choruses about how tits are a good thing, and whisky and beer are just super. Now, it’s Busta Rhymes, Pitbull, and various other generic nonsense.
Essentially, the theory behind soundtracking a film like Fast & Furious goes like this: we’ve made a film that appeals to knucklehead masses. Are knucklehead masses listening to hair metal these days? Nope. They’re listening to hip-hop. If the most popular music amongst jocks, thugs and date-rapists was classical symphony, then Fast & Furious would be soundtracked by Handel’s Messiah and the William Tell Overture.
Fans of Fast & Furious will say the same thing again and again and again to non-fans: why can’t you just enjoy it for what it is? Cars. Pecs. Boobs. Hip-hop. Preposterious dialogue. Little or no characterisation. Overblown chase sequences. Implicit misogyny. Well, people? Why can’t you just enjoy Fast & Furious for that?
Because it’s stupid. It’s so, so stupid. If someone offers you a ride, and you jump into their passenger seat and see a copy of the Fast & Furious soundtrack CD in their glove compartment, you my friend are in for a twenty minute conversation on the joys of getting wasted and having sex with people who have passed out.
Fast & Furious (Fast And Furious 4) Soundtrack – Track Listing
1. Bang [Explicit] – Rye Rye
2. G-Stro [Explicit] – Busta Rhymes
3. Loose Wires – Kenna
4. Blanco (Explicit Version) – Pitbull
5. Krazy [Explicit] – Pitbull
6. You Slip, She Grip [Explicit] – Pitbull
7. Head Bust [Explicit] – Shark City Click
8. Bad Girls [Explicit] – Pitbull
9. Virtual Diva [Explicit] – Don Omar
10. La Isla Bonita – Tasha
11. Blanco (Spanish explicit) – Pitbull
(These songs from the trailers are not included: We Are Rockstars by Does It Offend You Yeah? & Crank That by Soulja Boy)
Leave your thoughts on the Fast & Furious soundtrack in the comments.