“Cough cough …oink.” The words none of us want to hear.

Right now, when we look into these eyes – –

– – we see the eyes of a killer.

As Swine Flu (aka ‘Porky Sneezing’, ‘Bacon Cough’, ‘Trotter Lung’, etc.) spreads across the world, how can we truly relax in the company of a pig – or pigs – ever again? Hopefully by reading this list of the ‘Top 5 Most Reassuring Pigs in Movies’.

5. Porky Pig, From Space Jam

This handsome, if stuttering, pig often dresses as a police officer – nothing reassures us more than a figure in uniform. “Th-th-th-that’s all folks,” may sound like a sinister death toll, like the last words you’d hear as the flu takes hold – but it isn’t.

4. Spiderpig

Embodies everything that makes a pig a man’s best friend – He’s a wonderful vivid shade of bubblegum pink, soft to the touch, and never argues whether he’s the right way up or upside down on the ceiling. Also has a nice haircut, for a pig.

3. Piglet

Anyone who befriends a pooh is alright in my book. He may dress like he’s cruising, but he’s willing to quarantene himself in an apple if need be (see above). Places higher on this list than Porky Pig for his decision to wear pants.

2) Wilbur, from Charlotte’s Web

Wilbur, like all the pigs on this list is extremely personable. He is neatly presented, friendly and inquisitive. However, he is not able to maintain a sterile environment as he’s unwilling to brush away cobwebs.

1) Babe 2: Pig (Not) In (Mexico) City

And so to the most reassuring pig in movies. We love Babe for the same reason we love babies, he’s small, pink, speaks in a high voice and goes off to seek adventure in the city.

Not Included On This List: The pigs that ate Gary Oldman in Hannibal.