Top 10 Pleasantly Surprising Nude Scenes
6.10.09 # Top Ten # 13 Comments
Ah, nude movie scenes. With the 2010 fall movie season upon us, the major studios are whipping out their arthouse and Oscar-bait films. While most of these films come through with the pretense of dignity, only a few are remembered years after their passing. So, in a time when our theaters will be swelling with honest, clean films that show us the triumphs of the human spirit or criticize the trappings of modern society, it seems only proper that we respond by seeking out moments in film that stand in opposition to this. Moments in film, where we are all pleasantly surprised with well placed nudity. As much as Oscar-bait tries to make a social impact, many times it is the moments in film where a penis or a pair of breasts burst through the curtain that stains our collective memory, and we respond with an enthusiastic “Hell yes!” These are the top 10 nude scenes that have jolted audiences with their perfectly placed nuggets of flesh.
10. Titanic
The most pleasantly surprising scene for any thirteen year-old boy in this melodramatic disaster flick. It was pretty obvious that at one point there would be a sex scene, or at the very least, an implied sex scene. But nobody would’ve guessed that Rose wanted Jack to draw her wearing “only” her necklace. Of course, at my fragile age of nine when this came out, I didn’t fully comprehend what was going to happen until Kate Winslet eased so gracefully back into that couch. Surely a reason for the film’s monstrous success was this new way for curious adolescents to see a real pair of breasts without having to get their older brother to walk into that shady convenience store. The internet was also not as widespread and as user-friendly as it is today, so it was much easier for kids to get their porn fix with five bucks and three hours of boredom than trying to figure out Netscape.
9. Behind the Mask
Behind the Mask, a movie which plays off slasher horror conventions, used its nude scene for one of the biggest laughs of the film. The slasher is explaining to the reporter how exactly he’s going to butcher the hapless kids, walking us through what he has planned like the obligatory planning montage in a heist movie. Then suddenly, there’s a woman’s chest. Bra is undone and full boobage is present on screen. Then a pair of hands begins to caress the supple specimens. The shock of going from a normal exposition scene to one of the most gratuitous topless scenes ever will surely make you dribble your wine with a smile.
8. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Another nudie shot played up for pure comic effect. Not once, but at two different times do we see Jason Segel’s manhood presented in all of its glory as he’s dumped by his fully-clothed girlfriend. While most films leave it up to the audience’s (often vivid) imagination when it comes to what their stars are packing, we as an audience are given no such option. Within the first ten minutes of the film, Jason Segel drops his towel and the camera cuts to a farther away position, revealing everything. It certainly works for comedy but this is Jason Segal we’re talking about, meaning it’s probably one of the least google searched nude scenes since Kathy Bates in About Schmidt.
7. Total Recall
Despite being a movie rooted in gratuitous violence, perhaps the most memorable moment is the tri-boob. Sex and violence are an important ingredient of any Arnold movie. Total Recall knew this and then doubled its supply. Squibs are spraying out more blood than’s contained in the human body, and a mutant hooker from Mars has not just two breasts, but three. Supposedly her assets were convincing enough for both passersby, and friends, to inquire if in fact she did have three knockers. Oh the magic of film.
6. 28 Days Later
The most jarring moment in any zombie movie. Our hero wakes up in a hospital about a month after falling in to a coma. The first thing he notices, and we as an audience notice, isn’t that London is completely deserted, it’s that his shrivelled wang is on public display. I went into the movie expecting an ultra-violent zombie fest, instead the second thing delivered to my eyes was full frontal male nudity. Luckily the movie quickly shifted gears, and he got some clothes on. The only thing worse than turning into a rage-infected zombie is turning into a nude one, dignity would just fly straight out the door.
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wedding crashers? There was a nude scene in wedding crashers?!
Best. Article. Ever.
you made me lol at the total recall bit. Wedding Crashers has the scene during the song Shout. It is a sequence showing all the chicks they are banging. It has Rachael from “The Man Show” I’d like to add Monty Pythons “The Meaning of Life.” The man has chosen to be chased to death by the topless chicks in brightly colored helmets. Of jezzz… so hot. and surprising. How about a list of hottest non nude scenes? I nominate Ms. Hayek from “Dusk ‘Till Dawn” and Jessica Alba from “Idle Hands.” That booty is nice.
The nude scenes in these movies are the equivalent of getting flashed by someone while you’re sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich.
The 80s in general were the peak of surprising and unnecessary nudity. eg Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places, why was she top-half-nude in an Eddie Murphy comedy about stocks?
Great selection in Airplane. Was a teenager when I saw that. Also, terrific unexpected nude scene, lasting about 15 seconds or so, in Timecop starring Jean Claude Van Damme. I’m referring to the virtue reality scene, not Van Damme and his movie-wife’s sex scene.
You missed the Alexis Dziena nude scene in the movie Broken Flowers.
The nude scene w/Alexis Dziena was way HOT!
A personal favorite of mine was always Doc Hollywood. The movie itself had some alright parts, but I would watch the hole thing for the scene when Julie Warner came out of the lake. Never even saw it coming the first time.
What about Shannon Elizabeth’s boobs in AMERICAN PIE?
How about the shower scene from Starship Troopers? That showed a nice, unexpected pair of hooters.
Paul Verhoeven movie, we should have seen it coming.
And what about angelina jolie from”orginal sin”? that has some of the best movie nude scenes because she didn’t need to making stories like that, and really didn’t need to be nude in them.
Commando, when Arnie kicks Bill Duke through the door of the motel and there’s a gratuitous shot of a mega-titted hottie getting boned by some old guy. Probably her dad. Also Robocop in the showers. Not robocop himself, some lass with titties. Typical Verhoeven. He’s a legend. And what’s her face in terminator. Sarah Connor. No, wait, that was a thirteen year old boy. Kickboxer. No, wrong again, that’s just got one tit in it. It’s called Jean Claude van-damme.
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