Movie Moron

Movie Moron Forum => Trailers => Topic started by: Sheridan Passell on January 21, 2010, 12:33:39 PM



Title: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on January 21, 2010, 12:33:39 PM
Can anyone remind me who stars in this?




And then there's this -



Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on January 21, 2010, 04:09:43 PM
When people made a fuss about the new Clash of the Titans trailer and it's crappy ass tagline/music/cut, I decided to see how much better the original did. Um...the narrator DESTROYS any possible excitement about the movie you might have by sounding hellabored telling you about the movie.

The narration is as follows:

the myth
the magic
the mystery
the majesty

CLASH OF THE TITANS

the good
the evil
the danger
the daring

CLASH OF THE TITANS

the combat
the courage
the splendour
the spectacle

CLASH OF THE TITANS

before history
beyond imagination

CLASH OF THE TITANS

It's like a checklist is being read out, see for yourself:

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It's much better like this:

LImPkrDWPCs

TITANS. WILL. CLASH.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on September 16, 2010, 08:45:49 AM
The last line is perfect -



Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: AristotleP on September 16, 2010, 10:26:36 AM
 :D

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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on September 16, 2010, 12:19:14 PM
Literally brilliant.

Is that your voice at the very beginning of the second trailer Aristotle?


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: AristotleP on September 16, 2010, 02:37:10 PM
Yes  8)


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: T.ROSS on October 01, 2010, 10:42:55 PM
Here is one.....

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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on October 02, 2010, 11:51:01 AM
Katherine Heigl in ... Knocked Up 2: Dead Inheritance


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on May 02, 2011, 03:58:22 PM
Oh wow. Just ... wow.
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I predict the scene where he improves his golf game via fly fishing AND the scene where his dad throws a tantrum on the golf course, to be among the most awkward scenes in film history.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on May 02, 2011, 04:02:26 PM
"What's next, basket weaving?"
No, golf. It's just as boring.


Hopefully Lucas Black will carry over fans of his leading role in Tokyo Drift, looking for more adrenaline highs.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on May 02, 2011, 07:31:45 PM
I figured out the twist. Robert Duvall is him and Melissa Leo is the cute ginger and the golfer goes through a time warp so his future self can teach him a lesson.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on June 01, 2011, 05:26:38 PM
I found out about this because I'm sort of a friend with the director's third cousin. Sheridan, let me know if you'd like me to set up an interview.
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Important note to all filmmakers: in the middle of your children's action adventure movie, take a short break to kill the Lord.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on June 01, 2011, 09:55:19 PM
Did he die?


I want to interview the entire cast, especially Michael Madson voicing the crow.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on June 02, 2011, 05:41:55 AM
Why was that trailer bad? Because of the spoilers?


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on June 05, 2011, 05:36:25 PM
iNiXilLOWTI.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: twaddington on June 12, 2011, 10:10:20 AM
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It's like they started off with a jokey concept and then somewhere along the way it accidentally turned into a serious thriller.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on June 12, 2011, 11:54:23 AM
Perfect opening line.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on June 13, 2011, 03:57:16 PM
I rented Burning Bright and was totally let down. Not good enough to be thrilling, not hokey enough to be funny. Should have gone mystical with it.


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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on June 13, 2011, 04:28:05 PM
He dies every day? That's bad luck.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on June 30, 2011, 11:51:00 AM
Christians continue their agenda to neuter the modern male.

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I love the epic music until they reveal it's a Christian movie, and then it changes to boring genera-folk-rock.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on June 30, 2011, 12:50:52 PM
An explosion of courage.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on July 03, 2011, 05:31:24 PM
What the hell is the story behind this being made:



Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on July 05, 2011, 02:30:07 PM
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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on July 05, 2011, 03:37:20 PM
"Can this Octogenarian, and his goat, save the day?"   

B
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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on July 05, 2011, 06:38:11 PM
His Scottish patriotism has cost him dearly.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on July 08, 2011, 05:14:52 PM
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What a holiday treat.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on July 08, 2011, 05:23:02 PM
Ok, new career low-point for Pacino.

Looks like I need to update the worst of the year list.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on November 29, 2011, 10:32:01 AM
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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on November 29, 2011, 12:19:43 PM
Seemed to last forever.

The Harry Potter font was just a slap in the face to everyone who saw it.

Probably better than Eragorn.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on November 29, 2011, 02:10:35 PM
Just...why devote time and resources to producing something so ambitious?

(http://i44.tinypic.com/6fv5ok.png)

That money should have been used for good, not evil!


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on January 16, 2012, 10:59:41 AM
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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on January 16, 2012, 06:42:05 PM
Parts of that REALLY reminded me of Knightmare on ITV.

I can't tell how tongue in cheek it's meant to be.


P.S. Bare purple ass.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on July 11, 2012, 01:27:44 PM
Met the director of this movie last night at Starbucks. Apparently there's some old quote from an Indian chief that can be applied to the current banking crisis. So he used traditional Native American music to score his film. This is what he told me:

"When people ask me why I used Indian music to score my zombie film, I tell them 'it's a wake up call!'"

Enjoy:
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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: David Hawk on August 04, 2012, 06:25:21 AM
Oh. Dear. God.

Everything is just awful but most disturbing is the weird dog-loving going on and er, where exactly were the bankers? There was a nurse zombie and a load of hillbilly zombies but didn't actually see any bankers.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on August 04, 2012, 08:31:31 AM
There's nothing like native Indian music for making one feel instantly bored.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on August 08, 2012, 03:43:03 PM
Miami Connection
(set in Orlando)

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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on August 08, 2012, 06:52:45 PM
I'm going to guess... 80s.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on August 11, 2012, 07:37:22 AM
It looks like Miami Vice with gore and ninjas - how has this not been remade?


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on August 22, 2012, 02:12:11 PM
And that was the day JGL fired his agent.

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First rule of bike messengering, don't open the bag. 


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on August 23, 2012, 05:49:08 PM
I don't think this looks so bad. I mean, how many bicycle-based action thrillers are there?


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on August 24, 2012, 04:39:44 AM
David Koepp is a decent writer-director (Ghost Town, Secret Window, Stir of Echoes, The Trigger Effect), it'll be alright.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dalmatianjaws on August 24, 2012, 02:10:19 PM
Secret Window!! :o


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: David Hawk on August 24, 2012, 03:31:28 PM
I don't think this looks so bad. I mean, how many bicycle-based action thrillers are there?

Sounds as crazy an idea as setting an action thriller on a cruise liner, oh wait...


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on August 24, 2012, 04:48:52 PM
Or a bus...? I actually think it's closest to something like B13, which used parkour exclusively. You can do some pretty impressive things on bikes. I don't expect the movie to be any better than something like B13 or The Transporter, but it doesn't strike me as a bad concept at all. Did you guys never play Matt Hoffman's?


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on August 25, 2012, 06:30:10 AM
...I quite like Secret Window.

I find it very inspiring when I'm trying to write - watching Johnny Depp doing it is a lot of fun.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on September 09, 2012, 11:20:42 AM
Utoya Island

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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on September 10, 2012, 08:00:06 AM
Also:



From the executive producer of Sherlock Holmes.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on September 10, 2012, 09:32:45 AM


From the executive producer of Sherlock Holmes.


This is a joke, right?


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on September 10, 2012, 04:55:36 PM
There's an interview on YouTube where the director says it took police several days to reach the island.

We're dealing with the lower end of intelligence and humanity here.


Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: dnwilliams on October 28, 2012, 12:11:52 PM
Gang of Roses 2

The sequel to Gang of Roses. If this got funding, anything can.

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Title: Re: Post Terrible Trailers You've Found Here
Post by: Sheridan Passell on October 29, 2012, 06:07:13 PM
They've tried this idea before, a female gang in the wild west, it's never a movie anyone wants to see. This trailer leaves me unsure if it was ultra low budget, in which case it isn't too bad, but if it has any sort of decent budget, in which case it's a disaster.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on April 11, 2013, 09:50:23 AM
'Do you like cats?' 'Do you like talking animals?' 'Do you like Eric Roberts?' If the answer to any of those is YES, you'll love this film.



Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on September 21, 2013, 11:00:01 PM
Who the f**k decided to make a Paul Potts biopic?



Oh, produced by Simon Cowell.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: dnwilliams on September 22, 2013, 08:39:48 AM
WOW. I can't believe that's a legitimate movie! With actual well-known actors. And producers. And a director who's made a decent movie before. I get where they're going with it, it's a Billy Elliot style narrative, but...Paul Potts: The Movie. Jeez.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: dnwilliams on January 26, 2014, 09:43:03 AM
Not a trailer per se, but a promotional clip released to generate excitement for the movie Night Moves.

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I don't think I'll be in a rush to see another Kelly Reichardt movie after Meek's Cutoff.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on April 12, 2014, 05:30:40 PM


Lame


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on September 21, 2014, 07:01:20 PM
Meanwhile in the British film industry -



No wonder Scotland wanted out. Can we please stop basing movies on Britain's Got Talent?


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: dnwilliams on September 22, 2014, 07:38:20 AM
MY COUSINS VOLUNTARILY WENT TO GO AND SEE THIS FILM

I was horrified.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on September 22, 2014, 09:47:47 AM
We have much work to do. This website just became a cause.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on May 08, 2015, 12:37:01 PM


I would like to know why this exists, I bet the bribery involved is pretty interesting.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: dnwilliams on May 08, 2015, 02:28:53 PM
You know the story behind this right? DOR movie, got shelved for yonks.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on May 08, 2015, 03:32:25 PM
I haven't looked in it no, first saw this trailer about a year ago I think but it just popped up again on the feed for the UK release or something. What's a DOR movie?


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: dnwilliams on May 08, 2015, 06:17:27 PM
David O Russell.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on May 09, 2015, 05:48:09 AM
Oh, that explains why it exists.
2008.
4.1 on imdb.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1137470/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_2
Damn. The Academy should ask for their Oscar back.


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on December 03, 2015, 07:43:57 PM
A festive treat -



Are they proud, really?


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on December 05, 2015, 12:18:59 AM
http://youtu.be/NFXiqixuHJk


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: dnwilliams on March 01, 2016, 05:21:41 PM
http://blogs.indiewire.com/shadowandact/devon-terrell-codes-of-conduct-books-lead-in-new-young-barack-obama-feature-film-20160301


Title: Re: Trailers - Hall Of Shame
Post by: Sheridan Passell on March 03, 2016, 04:23:27 PM
Not sure it deserves Hall of Shame ranking just yet. From the author of kids book 'Go The F**k To Sleep', that's some cred. Maybe the more Barry Obama movies the better, first one is reportedly pretty great.

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