The Machine Girl
Where do I begin with good ol' Machine Girl
... First off, let me just say that this movie delivers. It is impossible, read again: impossible not to have a good time while watching this flick. I highly recommend watching it dubbed, as that only makes it better. Most modern b movies tend to not be that great, and are typically only featured on the Sci-Fi channel (a personal haven for me), but this movie takes all that is great about b movies, adds in some far east, and then supercharges itself. This movie is nonstop. If you thought movies the likes of Aliens
, or The Road Warrior
never let up, trust me, this one can stand among them without shame when it comes to pure energy.
The premise is pretty simple. A young girl's family is wiped out by a Yakuza boss, she gets disfigured, so the only reasonable thing left to do is get revenge. Understandable. Along the way she gets a minigun attached to her stub where her arm used to be. Her path of revenge leads her through ninjas, football padded enemies, and an entire Yakuza organization. When I say through, I mean literally, through. The path of destruction left in her wake gives Jack Nicholson's sex life a run for its money.
The effects in the movie are appropriately over the top. And when I saw over the top, I am of course talking about a barrage of bullets literally peeling a man's face off as they whiz by. About twenty minutes in, this kind of violence becomes commonplace and nothing sticks out as being “out of place” or breaking the cartoonish style. It's also great that the filmmakers understand how utterly ridiculous this movie is, and capitalize on that. One of our heroine's arms gets literally fried. You won't truly understand that statement until you watch the movie.
Perhaps the movie most salvageable for a drinking game is the lesbian part. Now, there's no nudity or sex, this movie is all violence. But the two main characters of the film have several scenes where they get so close to having a lesbian breakthrough. It happens so often, yes, a drinking game can definitely be made. I won't say how these lesbian undertones turn out at the end, I'll only say that their inclusion in the film made an already ridiculously good time lounging on the couch even better.
There really isn't much more to say. The Machine Girl
is easily one of the most solidly entertaining movies I have ever seen. The filmmakers understood well what kind of movie they were making, meaning there aren't any illusions of grandeur or groundbreaking film making, but I can guarantee this movie will stick with whoever watches it for a long time. This is the kind of quality I hope for every time I go out looking for that perfect b movie.
By Tyler Lovemark