WHAT YOU WATCHED THIS WEEK

[dnwilliams]

John Carter - Yeah, everyone that said this movie was awful is a liar has proper taste in movies. Decent Muddled. Enjoyable Meandering. Dejah Thoris was awful though, she almost could have single-handedly ruined the film if the rest wasn't so awful.

I totally agree! What's going on?!

Also this:
"THEY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND HOW STORY WORKS ... THEY JUST DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW DRAMA WORKS. AND THERE'S A BIG FREAKIN' DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO."
http://badassdigest.com/2012/04/08/film-crit-hulk-smash-hulk-vs-the-john-carter-script/

Yeah see, this kind of overreaction lowered my expectations so much I was pretty surprised to find I wasn't watching a complete train wreck. It was flawed, but not bad. Love me some Film Crit Hulk, I'll have to get to reading that.

Robocop is BOSS. Full of great ideas, and one of the best central performances in sci-fi.

I wouldn't say it was full of great ideas, but there were definitely great ideas there. That just doesn't mean much if you don't do much with them. What did you like about the central performance so much?

[dnwilliams]

[Sheridan Passell]

Robocop is tightly scripted, stylish, completely pulls off a daringly ridiculous concept. Peter Weller's physical performance is amazing, he's totally badass, and sells the pain and anguish of it when you can't even see his eyes most of the time.

There are so many stand out scenes, ED-209 was wicked (even if those fx are dated 25 years on), where he malfunctions and kills the exec is brilliant, freeing a female by shooting through her legs to hit the dick, "I'm cashing you out", "What's your name son", the way they kill Peter Weller was so much more violent and nasty than you ever see in a mainstream hollywood blockbuster. Verhoeven does great villains, none of this "rounded, what's their motivation" nonsense that scriptwriting books think we always need for bad guys - when one of them is offed you feel like punching the air. Love the tone of it all.

[dnwilliams]

I feel like you're pulling my leg, do you think it's better than Total Recall?

[Sheridan Passell]

Total Recall is better. But I honestly do believe what I'm saying. Man it's a sci-fi classic, it has 88% on Rotten Tomatoes. At school it was probably the most quoted movie in the playground and the arcade game was legendary for its time.

[dalmatianjaws]

ie, a bad movie. Read more CritHulk, despite the Hulk moniker he's all about finding good in everything and staying positive. This is presentation, not message. The article is delicately brutal, like all dissections.

Total Recall is a kick in the pants, a really fun movie. Robocop runs circles around it in terms of film language and acting. Also has a great satirical edge where Total Recall has camp. Both are great, but Robocop says a lot more.

Finished The Lost World: Jurassic Park, it's terrible ALL the way through. They finally start having fun at the end, but it's all ridiculous and out of place. The entire final sequence is insipid and a snarky mathematician is a TERRIBLE choice for lead character. All he does is stare and then run away. Alan Grant DID shit and ran away when he absolutely had to. I watched some of the special features and it's pretty telling. Spielberg admits he was super burnt out after doing JP and Schindler's List back to back and took two years off. This was his first movie back in the chair and it shows. They built him a huge lifesize animatronic Stegosaurus, and he came on set and said "scrap it, we're doing it digitally."    *SIGH*

[dnwilliams]

At school it was probably the most quoted movie in the playground and the arcade game was legendary for its time.

  A little nostalgia goes a long way. I'm not damning the movie at all, I enjoyed it, I just expected something on the Total Recall level because they're seen as Verhoeven at his best, and although I liked the setup and a lot of surface level stuff, I found the story itself ultimately bland and unsatisfying. Are you dreading the sequel then?

e. Read more CritHulk, despite the Hulk moniker he's all about finding good in everything and staying positive. This is presentation, not message. The article is delicately brutal, like all dissections.

I've read quite a bit of his stuff, and I read that full article. I agree with everything he's said, I was literally thinking the same things about the prologues and cross-cut family backstory as I watched, none of it's an unfair assessment, it never really is with his essays. What I don't agree with is the judgement that it's completely unsuccessful due to its flaws. I think it's an okay movie that could've been good with a better edit rather than a terrible movie that never had chance at being good, and I think it's definitely worth a watch. There's a lot to like. The score is magnificent, the Tharks are cool...

I think it's unfair to compare the performances in Total Recall and RoboCop, it's like comparing the performances in Heat to Scott Pilgrim, they're not going for the same thing at all and they both achieve their goals. You're going to have to fill me in on RoboCop's satire.

[dalmatianjaws]

If a summer adventure film fails at drama and/or story language (something FCHulk seems to compartmentalize that I don't), its primary reason for existing, and it isn't bad ... then there is no "bad" and therefore no standard of measure, no definitions, and no foundation from which to discuss anything. We're not talking about a few bad sequences, odd lighting choices, or lame music, we're talking about a core issue, a primary issue, THE primary issue with almost every story, and DEFINITELY  the main issue with swashbuckling adventure yarns.

I agree the score is awesome, though a bit derivative of Planet of the Apes, but music is one piece of a much larger puzzle (and soundtracks can be purchased separately for about the price of a movie ticket these days). I also thought the creature design for the Tharks was cool.

I also think the final car chase scene in Death Proof is a freakin' standalone masterpiece, but I'd never in a million years think the rest of the movie works. Likewise the opening scene of Red Dawn is utterly chilling and the rest of the movie is forgettable dull and dreary. In neither case can I make an argument for overall success, but I can talk about the good parts.

No one is suggesting John Carter get burned in church parking lots or that it is void of merit (the "learning to jump" scene has charm, for example). If you look at my review, it's given a C- grade (something I do for Sheridan's site requirements, not for myself) which seems to me more than fair for a movie that fails at a core level, no matter how it nails some of the spectacle.

[dalmatianjaws]

by satire in Robocop I mean the fake commercial breaks, the corporate greed hyperbole, and the hyper violent Jesus metaphors.

[Sheridan Passell]

For me, the car chase in Death Proof is the most overrated in cinema history. It doesn't even get making basic sense right. She's "trapped" on the bonnet, when all her friends need to do is slow down and she can get off, etc. It's also bad stunt work because it's VERY obvious she's throwing herself around to make it seem more dramatic. I find it too distractingly crap.



(terrible acting) "I'm really scared." - thought Tarantino was supposed to be a great writer?

Love Kurt Russell in general though.

[dnwilliams]

I never checked out Death Proof (only Tarantino movie I haven't seen) but I thought the whole point was that it's schlock that looks obviously staged and poorly performed...

If a summer adventure film fails at drama and/or story language (something FCHulk seems to compartmentalize that I don't), its primary reason for existing, and it isn't bad ... then there is no "bad" and therefore no standard of measure, no definitions, and no foundation from which to discuss anything.

If John Carter is plain awful, what is Sucker Punch? I think it's important to acknowledge something's shortcomings and failures without writing it off and grouping it with movies it doesn't deserve to be grouped with. I reserve the damnation for shockingly awful movies and the praise for truly impressive ones - John Carter lands somewhere in the middle, it has redeeming features, like you say. There are scenes, characters, performances, etc. that were well done. I always find grading things hard because there's so much variance in the scale and the grades mean different things to different people, but I'd probably give it a C+ or B-. That's still a few grades short of everything coming together perfectly.


Definitely missed the Jesus metaphors in RoboCop, but the commercials and ruthless businessmen thing seemed aimless to me. The bloodthirsty tycoon thing is just such an 80s staple as well, it didn't stand out. Starship Troopers is full of the same brand of satire and I didn't much care for that movie, though I only saw it once and it has been a long time.

Satire has to be a little more sophisticated for me I think *adjusts monocle*, otherwise it just comes off as lazy comedy. Give me Brazil, or Than You For Smoking or something Kafkaesque.

[Sheridan Passell]

Starship Troopers doesn't have a satisfying narrative. Some amazing effects, some great scenes, but disappointing overall, and too overtaken by his 'cheeky satire', which should remain in the background.

I also found it hard to understand -

If you look at my review, it's given a C- grade (something I do for Sheridan's site requirements, not for myself)

Wah?

[dnwilliams]

DJaws only has the categories 'crap' and 'not crap', he grades because others expect him to 

[dalmatianjaws]

Brave - okay. Some phenomenal moments kind of balance a lot of mediocre moments. They were dumb to reveal so little in the trailer. The inciting incident doesn't come until the end of the first act and throws the narrative a huge curveball and it becomes a very different (and better) movie.

Moonrise Kingdom - loved it. I tend to like his movies a lot, even though a couple had to grow on me, but while this one looks the same, if feels very different. It's seeped in emotion from the very beginning. It's heartwarming and at times heart-wrenching, something that's only been hinted at in his previous films I think. Great stuff.

UP - can't make it through this movie without crying at least once. Ridiculously emotional without feeling cloying. One of Pixar's absolute bests.

Jurassic Park III - my god. This movie is golden trash ... I remembered some of its more insane parts (talking dream velociraptor, satellite phone poop search, Ellie Sattler *69ing said satellite phone ...) but I had forgotten just how terrible the dialog, acting, and lighting was. It had a $93 million budget (compared to LW's $73 and JP's $63) and yet it looks like a direct to DVD flick. They redesigned the raptors to be bright red and have feather-like tufts on their head. They kill of a T-rex in the first half hour and replace it with a big stupid-looking Croc-like dino with a fin, and each time a character has a jump scare they speed up the film and it looks like a Looney Toons cartoon.

[Sheridan Passell]

Yes, Jurassic Park III, what a great moment it is -



The Incredible Melting Man - I remember being told the plot to this as a young child by some teenage girl and being totally freaked out by it. It is one of my earliest memories, so buried I didn't even know it was even there until I saw a link on YouTube. Hearing that ghoulish tale was partly responsible for starting my fascination with horror. So I finally saw the movie. It was beyond terrible.

[dalmatianjaws]

I had a similar experience reading a book about Nightmare on Elm street ... though in that case the final movie ended up being pretty damn scary.

Attack the Block - wow, wow, wow. Even better than I remember. Such a fun, silly movie with all these great character layers. Multiple watches really reveal what a damn fine job Joe Cornish did.

Cosmos - this old Carl Sagan TV show is streaming on Netflix. Pretty fucking amazing. A bit dated but it's astounding how much info he packs into hour-long segments.

[Sheridan Passell]

If you liked Cosmos, you should definitely watch Wonders Of The Solar System, on blu-ray if you can. Amazing documentary. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonders_of_the_Solar_System

[dalmatianjaws]

In the queue!


Attack the Block - watched it again to show some folks that hadn't seen it. Just wasn't up for Magic Mike and Beasts of the Southern Wild was only playing across town and I felt lazy.

[Sheridan Passell]

The Amazing Spider-Man - The high-school scenes were preposterous (the actors did look far too old), Gwen's connection to all the major characters was unlikely in the extreme, and Uncle Ben's voicemail was ridiculous. But damn if this isn't the best movie I've seen since The Avengers. Most surprised.

[dalmatianjaws]

Just can't summon the desire to see it. Getting very tired of super-hero movies. Even DKR feels blah to me.


Rules of the Game - controversial masterpiece that incited French preview audiences to try and burn the theater down. Phenomenal film.

The Terminator - introduced the wife to this. She enjoyed it more than she thought she would. I forgot how dated that flick is. The Arnie puppet is a laugh riot nowadays. Still a tight script and a lot of fun, though. Can't wait to show her the second one.