2009 Razzie Nominees Are Out

[Angel Orona]

Over the last several years complete and utter atrophy has overtaken me in regards to award shows.  I've always found myself disappointed to one degree or another in regards to who wins and loses.  It also may be just me but it seems most of these ceremonies are dull as asll hell and having running times that can only be measured by astronomy.

But I digress to tell you that one of the few award shows I do give a hoot about has just come out with its nominees . . . 

I give you the 29th annual Razzie Awards . . .

For those not in the know, The Razzies are the anti-Academy Awards that "honor" the worst films/performances/etc. of the year.  The big winner/losers for last year were BASIC INSTINCT 2 (Anyone even see this besides me and Razzie judges?), LITTLE MAN [shudder] and LADY IN THE WATER. 

Here are the nominees for the films that made you want to kick your own ass for paying $15 bucks to see:

Worst Picture:
Speed Racer
Disaster Movie
Meet the Spartans
The Day the Earth Stood Still
High School Musical 3
The Hottie & the Nottie
Dungeon Siege
The Love Guru
Postal
Rambo
The Happening
Meet Dave
Witless Protection

Worst Actor:
Zac Efron (High School Musical 3)
Dane Cook   (My Best Friend's Girl)
Larry the Cable Guy  (Witless Protection)
Eddie Murphy  (Meet Dave)
Al Pacino  (88 Minutes)
Keanu Reeves  (The Day The Earth Stood Still)
Sylvester Stallone  (Rambo)
Tom Cruise (for Valkyrie)
Will Ferrell  (Semi-Pro/Step Brothers)
Ashton Kutcher  (What Happens In Vegas)
Mike Myers  (The Love Guru)
Adam Sandler  (You Don't Mess With The Zohan)
Mark Wahlberg(The Happening)

Worst Actress:
Paris Hilton  (Repo: The Genetic Opera)
Jessica Alba  (The Love Guru/The Eye)
The cast of The Women
Camilla Belle  (10,000 B.C.)
Cameron Diaz  (What Happens In Vegas)
Kate Hudson  (Fool's Gold/My Best Friend's Girl)
Diane Keaton  (Mad Money)
Jennifer Connelly  (The Day The Earth Stood Still)
Zooey Deschanel  (The Happening)
Vanessa Hudgens  (High School High 3)
Eva Longoria-Parker (Over Her Dead Body)
Reese Witherspoon  (Four Christmases)


Worst Screen Couple:
Any couple from High School Musical 3
Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher  (What Happens In Vegas)
Paris Hilton and Joel David Moore  (The Hottie & The Nottie)
Kate Hudson and Dane Cook  (My Best Friend's Girl)
Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey  (Fool's Gold)
Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy  (Witless Protection)
Any couple from Mamma Mia
Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy (Meet Dave)
Al Pacino and His Hair  (88 Minutes/Righteous Kill)
Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel  (The Happening)
Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis  (Max Payne)
Sylvester Stallone and His Ego (Rambo)

Worst Director:
Uwe Boll  (Postal)
Scott Derrickson  (The Day The Earth Stood Still)
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer  (Disaster Movie/Meet The Spartans)
Tom Putnam  (The Hottie & The Nottie)
Marco Schnabel  (The Love Guru)
Sylvester Stallone  (Rambo)
Jon Avnet (88 Minutes)
Diane English  (The Women)
Roland Emmerich  (10,000 B.C.)
Brian Robbins  (Meet Dave)
Kenny Ortega  (High School Musical 3)
M. Night Shyamalan  (The Happening)

Worst Prequel, Sequel, Remake or Rip-Off:
Indiana Jones 4
High School Musical 3
Rambo, Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Disaster Movie
Meet the Spartans
An American Carol
The Women
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Prom Night
Speed Racer
X-Files: I Want to Believe

Worst Career Achievement:
Uwe Boll
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Madonna
Keanu Reeves
Sylvester Stallone

While I find of course see the humor in these nominees, based at the very least on this year's list, the Razzies' should receive their own "Worst Career Achievement Award In Beating A Dead Horse".  I'm pretty sick of the age-old jokes about Keanu Reeves California-airhead-"Woah!"-terrible actor.  While the guy may never be a Morgan Freeman he's delivered some solid performances in films ranging from 1997's THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE to last year's STREET KINGS.  But to acknowledge something that wouldn't allow for the exhausted running gag to finally run itself into the ground.  Another cheap shot goes to Sly Stallone, whose career I can't so easily defend.  However anyone who saw RAMBO would acknowledge it as being nothing more than a retro-80s actioner.  Was it good?  Maybe, maybe not . . . But it certainly was fun and not nearly as bad as the Razzies seem to believe.  Lastly (and I believe myself that I'm defending it) is HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL.  Look, I didn't see any of the movies (T.V. or otherwise).  As a matter of fact the closest I've ever come is checking out that naked pic of Vanessa Hudgens online.  But the movies fans (and their accompanying parents) seemed to have enjoyed it and never heard a bad thing said about the film, letalone any FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY references.

At the other end of the spectrum are those that not only should win their respective Razzie but should also be stoned (in the Biblical sense) right out of Hollywood.  Mike Meyers has been on my shitlist since his cinematic abortion known as THE CAT IN THE HAT.  (For that matter so is Jim Carrey with his equally awful but far more successful THE GRINCH THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS).  THE LOVE GURU is evidence that Meyers has completely lost touch with current comedic audiences.  Speaking of out of touch, M. Night Shayamalan's career has been in a tailspin since his last (arguably) solid film UNBREAKABLE.  His movies (again arguably) have become increasingly poor in both writing and directing (Don't even get me started on his "acting") starting with the last act of SIGNS, through THE VILLAGE and LADY IN THE WATER and culminating in the straight-up awful THE HAPPENING.  (For an intriguing look into Shayamalan's egocentric nature be sure to check out the fascinating book THE MAN WHO HEARD VOICES).  Saving the worst for last are "writers"/"directors" Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer who have single (double?)-handedly dumbed down our world by 20 I.Q. points which each of their
"Michael-Jackson's-still-funny-right?" brand of cinematic retardation.

The winners/losers will be announced Feb. 21, the day before the Oscars.

Source: iMDB

[Tyler Lovemark]

The presence of Rambo and Stallone on this list really make me question who made it.  I was worried I'd see Doomsday on the list as well, a film I thought was the most badass thing since my birth.

[dalmatianjaws]

I saw Doomsday at a guest house off the coast of Thailand. I looked over, saw a few generic shots and lame-ass rip-off Road Warrior set dressing and went "I bet that's that flick Doomsday."

And it was.

Alright, The Day the Earth Stood Still really sucked, but KEanu was fantastic in is. I'm serious. So creepy.

Rambo was a kick ass balls to the wall movie. Thinnest plot in history, even for a Rambo movie? Yes. But fantastic violence and Rambo converts pacifists into blood thirsty killers! How is that NOT awesome!  And he's really good in it!

I have a bunch of friends telling me Speed Racer is awesome, but I have yet to cave in and rent it.

[Tyler Lovemark]

I've heard it's good if you were a fan of the show.  I guess if you don't have that frame of reference, than everything is just stupid and kind of leaves you out.  I haven't seen it, either, but that's predominantly what I've heard from those who have.

[Angel Orona]

SPEED RACER is actually a bit of fun.  The visuals are terrific if overly hyper at times.  But I am grateful for being one of the few people to get to see it in a theatre. 

And even though it doesn't really drag the film could've lost a half-hour in the editing room.  I think the film failed because of that looooonnnggg running time as well as a point Tyler made -- There was no frame of reference for the kids to glob onto.  If Warner's marketing had been smart they would've saturated every cable channel they could with the old reruns.  Instead every kid I knew just dismissed it as being stupid.

[Sheridan Passell]

There's no way Rambo deserves to be on here. The Razzies have a tradition of nominating Stallone almost every year. He even won the coveted 'worst actor of the century' in 2000, so that's why it has been picked. I've been working on a top ten the last few weeks of films that didn't deserve a razzie, going way back, you'll be amazed some of the stuff that's on there.

[Angel Orona]

The Razzies kind of remind of that asshole Mister Blackwell whio (before he died) would hold his yearly round of worst dressers and would then come up with clever but cruel derogatory quips.  The guy wasn't even a clothing designer just some douche the media started listening to.

Once again I have to state that I do understand all these nominees are in jest but I'm annoyed by cheap, lazy (not to mention played-out) humor.  It seems lately that alot of humor out there is more about making references instead of genuine humor.  ("Haaahahahahaha there's Britney shaving her head . . . And Napoleon Dynamite is in this too!  Too too funny!")

[T.ROSS]

These awards are funny. I disagree with the Happening, I love that film, from the actors to the directing down to the cinematography.

Am I really the only person who likes The Happening? Really?

-T.ROSS PRODUCTIONS

[Angel Orona]

Let me ask you this, T. Ross.  I haven't seen THE HAPPENING so I can't comment either way but I do plan on seeing the film.  Are you basing your positive review on the theatrical version or the DVD one, which is suppose to have like nearly a half-hour of new footage.

[dalmatianjaws]

The Happening was one of my most enjoyable movie watching experiences last year. But it truly was ... shockingly bad. Enjoyably so, but so bad I thought it was a spoof for a while. But it wasn't.

[T.ROSS]

Let me ask you this, T. Ross.  I haven't seen THE HAPPENING so I can't comment either way but I do plan on seeing the film.  Are you basing your positive review on the theatrical version or the DVD one, which is suppose to have like nearly a half-hour of new footage.
[/quote

I have seen both DVD and theatrical, not too much of a difference.

Well I am a fan of M. Night's films. But I am as bigger fan of nature and Earth and am digusted with the way we treat it. I am not going to say much more about this cause I dont want to ruin anything about the movie.

I also really like M. Night's akwardness of his characters personalities, and the characters in this movie were so weird, I absolutely loved it!

Do tell me what you thought of it after you have seen it.

-T.ROSS PRODUCTIONS