Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael: Round Five

[dalmatianjaws]

Round #5
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers - A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 5: The Dream Child

The Loser: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Meyers

Forced to watch dailies.

Michael turns in another poor performance in the 5th round. The only reason to watch this film is Jamie, the young heroine and survivor of the last film. She offers a fantastic child-actor performance that is sadly lost amidst horrible film making, which might be the revenge of which the title speaks.

Watch it and you’ll probably fall asleep after the third pointless character is killed off screen without any good gore, or after a sex scene with no boob shot, or after Donald Pleasance says “I prayed he’d go to hell, but in my heart I know hell wouldn’t take him.”

Scariest Part: the sheriff deputies that walk synchronized to clown music.
Worst Part: Michael Myers CRIES!!!
Unintentionally Funny Part: “bum bad a, bum ba da, BUM BA DA, bum ba DAAAA” (it’s the new dress song).


The Runner-Up: A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

Starring Marlon Brando as Freddy.

When a girl named Alice succumbs to her destiny and becomes a small-town waitress, she relieves her short-order depression by having awkward teenage sex. When she gets knocked up, Freddy arrives to recruit the rug rat for his bleeding purposes.

Freddy continues his downward slide towards comedy instead of fright. It’s hilarious when the cherubic Muppets pop from Freddy’s chest, but when Freddy faces off against a small child in an Escher-like stair maze, they attack each other with far too many slime-covered phallic symbols for this writers sensibilities.

Scariest Part: a woman trapped with 100 maniac rapists.
Worst Part: Super Freddy kills Comic-Book Boy.
Unintentionally Funny Part: her evil offspring is that annoying kid at the beginning of Jurassic Park.

The Winner: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning


Friday the 13th returns to the Jason-less formula of the first film.

Starting off about a decade after the last film, Corey Feldman’s character has grown up to look nothing like Corey Feldman. He’s really messed up after shaving his head, so now he has to go to a summer camp for nutcases. While there, another nutjob kills someone and he starts freaking about and hallucinating images of Jason.

And it turns out that Jason really isn’t there and it’s just some … you know what, it has an ending that’s worse that Scream 3 and it’s still better than these other two films. Enough said?

Scariest Part: the first kill.
Worst Part: the ending reveal.
Unintentionally Funny Part: the nature-loving sex scene.

Summary: Freddy and Michael are so bad that Jason wins by sending a proxy.

[Christian Sellers]

You can edit the image in Photobucket as well if you want her covered up.  Don't do it on my behalf though.  To be honest I'm not a fan of Halloween 5.  I like the part where she's in the laundry shoot and he's sticking the knife through.  But it's too much of a disjointed mess.  The Dream Child is at least darker than The Dream Master and pretty twisted.  I've slowly grown to like A New Beginning over the years, mainly due to seeing images from the director's original cut which was extremely violent. And at leats they tried something different with it, it may have been flawed but a noble effort.  Nice reviews though dude!

[dalmatianjaws]

Thanks Christian, what a cool feature. Done and done.

[Christian Sellers]

I don't have Photoshop so I do all my editing on Photobucket.  Only basic but better than nothing.

[T.ROSS]

I am so glad that you finished these!!!! Here are my pics....


Loser: A Nightmare on Elm Street-Dream Child



This was one of my least favorite Nightmare on Elm Street films, mainly beacuse I felt like the movie was rushed and the script was rushed. To me it just feels like they didne put too much of an effort into making this movie, I think with this one and the one after they jsut assumed the fanbase, and knew it would do well credited to the previous success of the others before. But dont get me wrong I love this movie alot, I have the poster framed in my apartment along with all the others, its just my least favorite out this round.


Runner Up: Friday The 13th 5- A New Beginning



Like Mr. Sellers, this movie has grown on me alot over the past few years, the killler in this movie pretending to be Jason is so odd moving, its comical. I like the idea for this installment of the series, it was a nice breaking point. Overall I love this flick!


Winner: Halloween 5- The Revenge of Michael Myers



Now I know many will disagree with this choice of mine, but I love this movie. It was such a nice relief from part 4, the 4th one to me was the one of the worst. This film went right back to his gruesome killings, I love his anger in this film, he is ready for all, anyone who gets in his way is about to meet their maker! This one defintely takes the cake for this round with me!!!

-T.ROSS PRODUCTIONS

[dalmatianjaws]

This is the best Halloween movie behind 1, 7, and 2 (in that order). Quite a bit better than 2, 4, 6, and 8. I'd agree with that. But still ... a far cry from the original.

[T.ROSS]

But still ... a far cry from the original.

That is so awesome! I likes that!

[Christian Sellers]

Didn't like Halloween 5 at all, dumb script and what was going on with the comedy theme tune for the two cops??

[Sheridan Passell]

A far cry from the original

?

But you said you didn't like the original. Don't say you're panding to the masses now. It's unheard of on this site.

[dalmatianjaws]

I don't like the original, but I can still see it has some artistic and entertainment merit. Tells you what I think of the sequels, huh?   

[T.ROSS]

Didn't like Halloween 5 at all, dumb script and what was going on with the comedy theme tune for the two cops??

Yeah I almost brought that up but didnt think anyone would know what I was talking about. What was up with the comic relief form those two cops? It was only in the film for like two segments and it totally through the film off course. I think one reaseon why I like the 5th one so much, was because after the 2nd one I was craving some Michael Myers killing, but didnt find it with the 3rd (obvisouly) or 4th. The 4th was such a disapointment. I have watched the special features on the 4th one's disc, they writers and producers said they were trying to make it a psychological thriller (trying to mimic the 1st). They didnt pull it off at all. After the first cut they had to go back and add some brutality and slight gore to make it a little more entertaining. It wasnt entertaining at all, and put together crappy. They should of spent more time on the script. When the 5th one came out, it was a relief from the 4th, it had gore and vengence, it basically was an upgrade of the 4th, not too much of a sequel. So that is the main reason why The Revenge of Michael Myers holds a special place in my heart. Plus I like Danielle Harris's character to the films!


So I am sure I have asked you before Dalmatainjaws, but what is it that you dont like about the original Halloween? I believe it is one of the landmarks in horror, especially in the slasher genre.

-T.ROSS PRODUCTIONS

[T.ROSS]

Dalmatianjaws you never answered my question above, I have been waiting for sometime now....

[T.ROSS]

Dalmatianjaws you must answer my question!!

[Sheridan Passell]

Dalmatian Jaws doesn't care about us T.Ross.

[T.ROSS]

I like to think he does care....