Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael: FINAL ROUND!

[dalmatianjaws]

And the Winner is …

JASON!


After a flawed but entertaining 8th installment, Jason knocks Michael to the ground and makes a two film victory dance. Not only is he the longest running franchise without a “reboot,” but he has also turned in the largest amount of watchable installments.

Unfortunately, his last two do not fall under that category.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

Freddy saves Jason from another embarrassing sequel.

Every Jason movie is linked through ridiculous endings and even sillier beginnings. Each consecutive screenwriter must find a way to bring Jason back from an early grave, and each time the reasons are more and more insane. But the fun part is they always connect.

So at the end of Part VIII, when Jason’s young healthy body is seen floating in a New York sewer, one would think the next wave of filmmakers could play with a whole new Jason.

Alas, Sean S. Cunningham had other ideas. In a sad attempt to get a “Freddy vs. Jason” movie made, he decided to make this installment for the sole purpose of setting up his dream project.

The result is a pointless, abysmal, virtually Jason-free movie.

For some reason, Jason is back to his hulking mutated self at Crystal Lake. Then he’s lured into the woods by a ninja gymnast and blown up by the military. After a doctor eats his heart, he turns into a parasitic worm and jumps from body to body until he can be reborn as Kane Hodder.

In the end, he’s defeated by a nerd and a jungle gym, and as he’s taken to hell by demons, Freddy’s glove pops out of the ground and steals his mask. That’s literally the entire, horrible movie. I can’t even make any jokes about it.

Jason X

Cash or check?

I can, however, make jokes about Jason X.

But I'm not going to. This film has one redeeming quality: it irrevocably, through poor quality and poorer box office results, killed off a runaway franchise.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Jason. But the simple fact that a serial killer from a tiny sleepaway camp ended up a space cyborg in the far future is appalling, no matter how self-referential the humor is.


This is the toy, which compared to the movie looks kind of cool.

By the end there were no screams, no laughs, only tedium. Yes, that’s right, they actually launched the Friday the 13th franchise into space and made it boring.

I kind of makes me sad the franchise ended on this note. But never or fear (or, possibly, fear more). Jason is about to be reborn under the Platinum Dunes moniker. I haven’t brought myself to see it yet. Can anyone tell me how it is?

SUMMARY:

Scariest: Freddy
Most Boring: Michael
Most Fun: Jason
Most Rewatchable: Jason
Most Creative Kills: Freddy
Most Artistic Integrity: Michael

[Tyler Lovemark]

So the question we're all wondering is whether or not you're having a Friday the 13th party about two weeks from now.

[dalmatianjaws]

That would be so much fun. Unfortunately, none of my friends would be caught dead watching these films.

Yes. I said that.

[Sheridan Passell]

Now that's a president I can get behind.

It's great to see these two fine series go out on such a high. They really did save the best for last.

[Christian Sellers]

I love Jason X.  It was my second favourite after Jason Lives.  He was never very scary so the fun ones were the most entertaining.  Fans seem to hate it but oh well.. And Jason Goes to Hell may have beena rip off of The Hidden but at least they tried something new with the franchise

[dalmatianjaws]

I tried to like them. But Goes to Hell in particular was SO SLOPPY. It was lazy. Neat-ish idea, great surprize ending, but everything in between was so half assed. I mean, fine, make him jump bodies. But a silly old black dude with a pot belly as the villain for the first half of the film? Sigh.

Jason X, again, should have been so much fun. And parts were. But the whole naked girls in the holo-deck part was ... like, they thought it was funny just because they made a reference to the old films.  But it wasn't. The joke wasn't funny until it cuts to him beating one girl to death with the body of the other girl. That, my friend, I will agree was Cinema Gold. I laughed REALLY hard.

[T.ROSS]

SUMMARY:

Scariest: Freddy
Most Boring: Michael
Most Fun: Jason
Most Rewatchable: Jason
Most Creative Kills: Freddy
Most Artistic Integrity: Michael

So over all which one is your favorite series after factoring in everything?


Mine would have to be Friday The 13th hands down!!!! I love my Mr. Vorhees!




-T.ROSS PRODUCTIONS

[dalmatianjaws]

Oh, TOTALLY Jason. Without a doubt. I have a greater respect for Michael now, but honestly, only three out of eight movies could be considered "good." Some are more watchable than others, but ...

Freddy: #1 is great, the first halves of #3 and #7 are great ... but the rest, though creative in general premise, are so shoddy it's unimaginable to me. They are just SO unscary and lazy to me, I REALLY hate them.

Jason: #9 and 10 I HATED ... but 1 - 8 alternate between hilarious, mildly amusing, and actually kinda good despite themselves. Even the bad ones are at least coherent.

[Sheridan Passell]

Artistically for me there's no question the Nightmare series is the best, but there's something about the Jason films, nuckleheaded as they are, that just makes them so much fun to watch.

[T.ROSS]

Artistically for me there's no question the Nightmare series is the best, but there's something about the Jason films, nuckleheaded as they are, that just makes them so much fun to watch.

Yes Freddy movie scan be really funny to watch, they have some creative kills in them! Jason just is so ruthless, he pulls off the silent treatment a little better than Michael does!

Oh, TOTALLY Jason. Without a doubt. I have a greater respect for Michael now, but honestly, only three out of eight movies could be considered "good." Some are more watchable than others, but ...

Freddy: #1 is great, the first halves of #3 and #7 are great ... but the rest, though creative in general premise, are so shoddy it's unimaginable to me. They are just SO unscary and lazy to me, I REALLY hate them.

Jason: #9 and 10 I HATED ... but 1 - 8 alternate between hilarious, mildly amusing, and actually kinda good despite themselves. Even the bad ones are at least coherent.

Yes I totally agree with you on a couple things. Jason 9 and 10 are the two worst in my book. 1 through 8 carry this familiar vibe with it. And when you get to 9 and 10 it was defintely lost! And I do believe that the Freddy movies seem a little lazy at points, its like they rushed filming them, you know?

[Angel Orona]

Very nice work, my friend!

Although I must say that as far out there as it was props should be given to JASON X for at least trying something different with the series.  The hologram sequence is classic!

[T.ROSS]

Very nice work, my friend!

Although I must say that as far out there as it was props should be given to JASON X for at least trying something different with the series.  The hologram sequence is classic!

I totally agree 100% with you, they deserve their props for trying something dfferent, after 9 films, I can safely say its ok to try something different, but if it doesnt work please dont do it again!