The awards season is soon to come to a climax with the arrival of the Academy Awards. It is the ultimate ceremony to make a spectacle of oneself by crying rivers of pride and blurt out ill thought through things, or, in some cases, do ‘what the hell??' things whilst holding the Oscar in your trembling hands like the following people in our list:
10. Jack Palance – Best Supporting Actor, City Slickers
Jack Palance was so happy to win an Oscar that he ran out of gratuitous words, and decided to fill in the time he had left on the stage…by doing one armed push ups.
Click here to see the video.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g426J4Uh2m4
9. Angelina Jolie – Best Supporting Actress, Girl Interrupted
A gothic looking Jolie waltzed onto the stage to collect her Oscar, and decided this would be the best time to announce that she is in love with her brother. Yup, she actually said that. Yes, it sounded incestuous. No, they were not in such a relationship. But it still sounded WRONG.
8. James Cameron – Best Director – Titanic.
Mr. Cameron obviously wanted to be Leonardo DiCaprio for the evening, so he allowed the words ‘I’m King of the world!’ to come out pouring out of his mouth. How shameful.
Click here to watch the video.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJp7Wd6Af2A
7. Tom Hanks – Best Actor, Philadelphia
Tom hanks was so grateful to his drama teacher for his influence and guidance that lead to his Oscar trophy, that Hanks decided to tell the whole nation his teacher was ‘the greatest gay American he had ever met’. Even though his drama teacher had not told ANYONE he was gay….
Click here to watch the videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBuDMEpUc8k
6. Roberto Benigni – Best Director, Life is Beautiful.
Life was certainly beautiful for this Italian Director when his name was called, that it lead to a suprising moment of madness. Instead of walking along the floor towards the stage like a normal person, Benigni thought it would be a good idea to walk across the backs of people’s chairs. How this man managed to do this all the way to the stage and not fall off any of them is beyond us.
Click here to watch the videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cTR6fk8frs
5. Julia Roberts – Best Actress, Erin Brockovich.
If you ever need lessons on how to appear eccentric, arrogent and just plain annoying in one go, study Julia Roberts’ performance when she collected her Best Actress Oscar. Not only does she laugh consistently like a hyena being tickled by a feather duster, but she addresses the show’s conductor as ‘Stick Man’ and tells him to put his stick down.
Click here to see the videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZV0YbYECU7A
4. Cuba Gooding Jr – Best Supporting Actor, Jerry Maguire
Gooding Jr made his character in Jerry Maguire so lovable, we were over the moon when guy won for Best Supporting Actor. But when he proceeded to jump up and down the stage proclaiming his love for every person he has ever met, our ‘aww, so glad he got it!’ changed to ‘Oh sweet Lord, get off the stage.’
Click here to see the videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnCMqr1QRQw
3. Sally Field – Best Actress, Places of the Heart
Many had said that Sally Field’s gush-a-rama whilst collecting her Best Actress award set the bar for over the top self appreciation speeches. She was so happy to be liked at that point in time. But do we still like her now?
2. Halle Berry – Best Actress, Monster’s Ball
The reason Halle Berry is not at the number one spot with this blubber fest is because her genuine shock at being the first African American woman to win an Oscar swept her along a wave of emotion, so it is expected that her millions of thank yous would be mixed with tears, snot and body convulsions. She is only human after all. But it was still shameful to watch.
Click here to see videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llgL7mGYVTI
1. Gwyneth Paltrow – Best Actress, Shakesphere in Love
There are no words to describe the pain of watching Gwyneth Paltrow accept her Best Actress award. So find the full transcript of her speech below. If you do not throw up whilst reading this then your strong stomach is truly worthy.
"I would like to thank the Academy from the bottom of my heart! I would like to thank Emily Watson and Fernanda Montenegro, and my friend Cate Blancett and the greatest one who ever was, Meryl Streep. I don't feel very deserving of this in your presence, but I would like to thank Harvey Weinstein and everybody at Miramax Films for their undying support.
“I wouldn't be in this auditorium, let alone up here, if it wasn't for two incredibly talented men; our director John Madden, thank you so much for all that you gave me, you are so inspiring, and to my soulful partner, Joseph Fiennes who I share this with. (starts crying).
”I would like to thank the rest of our miraculous cast and crew. Our producers Donna Gigliotti and David Parfitt...I didn't forget you this time! (starts to laugh and sob). Especially, Jim McGill and Sophie Shant and my friend Ben Affleck. I would like to thank my wonderful agent Rick Kurtzman, who is a beautiful man and a wonderful agent. And in his case that is not an oxymoron! (why???) I would like to thank Harold Brown, Stuart Gelwarg and Steven Huvane.
“I would not have been able to play this role had I not understood love with a tremendous magnitude, and for that I thank my family; (jesus, more tears) my mother Blythe Danner, who I love more than anything, and my brother Jake Paltrow who is just the dearest person in the whole world.
”My earthly guardian angel Mary Wigmore. (crying loudly now) and especially to my father Bruce Paltrow (yup, more tears) who has surmounted any surmountable obstacles this year. I love you more than anything in the world. And to my grandpa Buster (oh my word, aren’t you dry yet???), who almost made it here tonight, but couldn't quite get here (huh??). Grandpa, I want you to know that you have created a beautiful family who loves you and loves each other more than anything (bored now) and we thank you for that. I would like to dedicate this to two young men who lost their lives very early; Harrison Kravis and my cousin Keith Paltrow. We miss you very much and I thank you. Thank you so much everybody!" (FINALLY leaves the stage with a river of tears flowing behind her)
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