There is little doubt that Megan Fox is one of he finest actresses of her generation, but merely accepting that fact would be moronic. It is incumbent upon us to collate the evidence, weigh it up, and give the matter all due consideration before making such an assertion. Which is why, in order to determine just how fine an actress the delectable Miss Fox really is, Movie Moron has volunteered to thoroughly investigate on your behalf with the aid of one Big Willie.
That's right, oscar-nominee Will Smith will be lending us his considerable expertise as we take a look at Megan Fox's rise to stardom.
Holiday In The Sun (2001)
Fox burst onto the scene in this 'fun-for-all-the-family' caper (that's not an actual quote, but someone somewhere probably said it) starring alongside the force of nature that was The Olsen Twins™. Megan Fox was supporting them in this movie, but now of course she's blown up like a Michael Bay pyrotechnic and nobody cares about them...there's a lesson in there somewhere.
Over to Will to determine the fineness of the 15-year-old Fox in this movie.
Ocean Ave (2002/3)There is barely a trace of this show online, which means one of two things. A) The show wasn't very popular, even though Megan Fox was in it for not one, not two, but one hundred and twenty-two episodes; or, B) Megan Fox delivered a performance so mind-blowingly phenomofantabuloussome that the FBI broke the internet in order to keep ordinary Americans everywhere from dying of Overwhelmtionorhea. Which one makes more sense to you? Same here.
But Will Smith wouldn't let a little thing like the FBI get in his way, care to give us an opinion on the fineness of 16/17 year old Fox here?
What I Like About You (2003)Megan starred in this Amanda Bynes show as Shannon, appearing in one episode titled 'Like a Virgin (Kinda)' - 'nuff said. Apparently 17-year-old Megan Fox hooks up with a guy named Henry Gibson. Will, thoughts?
Two and a Half Men (2004)
This whole show is about Charlie Sheen being a womanizer (streeeeetch) and his gay-but-in-denial brother (you know it's true) trying to raise his overweight kid (who's not so fat anymore) in the midst of all the honeys and canned laughter. Anybody who watches the show will tell you the only episode they actually remember is the one with Megan Fox. Hell, people that never watched the show remember the episode with Megan Fox - thanks
YouTube!
Fox may have been playing jailbait, but she wasn't actually under 18, otherwise she wouldn't be allowed to play jailbait. Bearing that in mind, you have anything to say about Megan in Two and a Half Men, Will?
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)
Again Fox plays second fiddle to a bigger brand, only this time instead of the Olsen Twins it's Disney Princess & Red Headed Role Model Lindsay Lohan. Considering Lohan had literally all the limelight in Hollywood around this point, forcing other starlets to use various citrus-based alternatives, it's no surprise Fox was in her shadow. But now that Lindsay's rise has turned into a fall (how many actresses need to make a comeback in their 20s?) Fox has been able to get some limelight, and whaddya know, she looks mighty fine in limelight.
What's the verdict, Will?
Hope & Faith (2004/6)
Pre-Transformers Megan Fox
was on a show with Kelly Ripa of Regis and Kelly, formerly Regis and Kathie, as in Kathie Lee who needs Regis the way Kanye needs Jesus. There you go, six degrees of separation, Megan Fox to Jesus. Tell your friends.
Transformers (2007)
Bless you Michael Bay, bless you. Well, that's all I have to say, Will?
Transformers: The Game (2007)
You can't play as Megan Fox in a game of a movie where the only sequences that didn't use a shredder to edit the film featured Megan Fox. Fail.
How to Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008)
Comedy turn, sort of. As ypu can see Fox puts her fine talents to good use in the movie. Three times. She plays a beautiful actress that's waaaay out of Simon Pegg's league, so he settles for Kirsten Dunst.
And Kirsten Dunst
is cute too, no matter how many times WWTDD and our very own founder and editor call her 'snaggletooth.' Bullies
Anyhoo...can I get an assessment please? What do you think of Megan in this movie Will?
Whore (2008)There are no words. Okay, maybe one word:
LOL.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Okay, now we're out of the stuff-Megan-Fox-has-already-filmed territory, it's time to look at upcoming projects. If you saw the ShoWest footage of Revenge of the Fallen you know Bay has LaBeef talking to a car while Fox is taking off her clothes outside. Win. And in the latest trailer he also has her
straddling a motorcycle in an insanely short shorts. Seriously, how does he not get uncomfortable asking her to do these things? It's blatantly not in the script.
p.s. How has nobody started calling chicks who star in Michael Bay movies Bay Babes yet? Yes, it's lame, that's why it'd be awesome.
Jennifer's Body (2009)
Quite frankly, if someone showed you a picture of Diablo Coady and told you she was an ex-stripper turned screenwriter you'd assume she was either writing a horror movie or a movie about an ex-stripper turned screenwriter. Which is why they say when you assume you make an ass outta yo' ass, because Coady wrote Juno and Juno was one of the coolest movies you ever saw without even trying.*
Coady doesn't need to come out of left field anymore because she done did that already - so it's time to write that horror movie! And what does every horror movie need? Fine actresses. Hmm...now who's hot right now?
The movie's called Jennifer's Body, Megan Fox play's the titular (heh, titular) heroine, and in case y'all didn't know, Jennifer's body looks like
this. Yeah, this movie is like printing money.
*It tried really hard actually.
Jonah Hex (2010)
What was the last western you saw? The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, right? Total sausage party. So was 3:10 to Yuma, and it had that Bettie Page lady in it! Both failed to 'bring back the Western' ('bring back' is an industry term meaning pull a Gladiator and give studios an excuse to green-light a thousand band-waggon jumpers and remakes.)
Well, Jonah Hex may well be the one to bring the Western back from the dead. It's based on a long-running, seriously popular comic book. And it'll probably sneak up on people the way comic book movies not based around superheroes usually do: Road to Perdition, A History of Violence, Sin City, 300...
Not to mention somebody thinks Megan Fox can hold her own up against Oscar nominated human-shaped-chameleon Josh Brolin! You KNOW you have to see that performance. She plays his prostitute love interest...Will, final thoughts?
Foxy Bonus:Megan Fox is also set to star in Fathom, an adaptation of the late Mike Turner's comic about a race of amphibian humans and their war with the surface world. You can find out more about the characters
here. Megan Fox will be playing Aspen Matthews.
There's also a entertaining interview
here with Fox and, kinda randomly, Seth Rogen.
February 29, 2008, 06:45:25 AM
