Bear Deaths

[Sheridan Passell]

There's nothing more important in a horror movie than the death scenes. What are the various ways someone can be destroyed by an intelligent bear? Suggestions below.



I'm thinking that someone is climbing through a window, ass last, the bear grabs both cheeks and pulls apart, tearing him a fatally large asshole.

[Prof. Loug]

A scientist believes that because the bear has developed a taste for blood, then it must have developed a revulsion to honey - it's former food source. So, the safest thing to do is to smother yourself in honey, which he duly does. However, he gets stung to death by angry bees.

[Sheridan Passell]

Aristotle posted this up in another thread, but it'd be good here too -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCr5YecD580

They get great use out of a bear arm.
You have to admire the last kill, where it swipes the head off a horse.

[David Hawk]

There's a young couple skinny dipping in a stream but in their fun they dont realise they've swum to close to the rapids and they being sucked in, the bear is waiting , looking like a bear does when it swipes for fish but this time he's swiping for human flesh! and as the couple get closer and closer to the bear the swiping becomes more frantic until he's swiping at their bare backs, blood everywhere, a splash of blood hits the lens and we cut to the bear sat on the shoreline, using his claw as a tooth pick to rid his teeth of the human skin. 

[Prof. Loug]

Attack on the nudist colony: "Help! It's attacking my penis."

[Sheridan Passell]

What if it was brought up/trained on little floppy sausage treats?

[dnwilliams]

[AristotleP]

Haha Samberg

[AristotleP]

lol @ This

[Sheridan Passell]

Oh man. How did they do the full body shots?

[AristotleP]

lol Here's the trailer for that movie.

Eight troubled young people. Six days community service. It's gonna be a bear.  rofl

[dnwilliams]

that movie looks perfect

[Prof. Loug]

CHARACTER #1
Listen man, if a bear attacks you, curl into a ball and play dead.

CHARACTER #2
Got it.

Later...

Character #2 is attacked by Grizzlepaw. He curls up into a ball.

CHARACTER #3
What are you doing?! Now he thinks you're a meatball!

Character #2 promptly gets eaten.

[dnwilliams]

INT. LOG CABIN - NIGHT

MISSY and GUY hurriedly close the door of the cabin behind them, breathing heavily. The lights are out.

GUY
He can't get us in here, we're safe. We're totally safe.

MISSY
I don't know...you saw how he got Sunshine.
And Sexman! Poor little Sexman...

GUY
Listen to me: You heard him, what, a mile back?
We ran like HELL and we're in a goddamn cabin
with the door locked for crying out loud.
We're safe. We'll sleep here until morning and
then we'll go find Ellison and the others. Now get the lights will ya.

Missy hits the lights, only to reveal a GIANT FUCKING BEAR. She screams.

GUY
Missy! Missy! It's alright! Hey! Hey! It's stuffed.

Missy stops screaming and opens her eyes to see that the bear is, in fact, a stuffed hunting trophy. They both laugh. As they continue to laugh the camera pans left to reveal GRIZZLEPAW on his hind legs, hiding behind the stuffed bear, mimicking its pose.

CUT TO:

EXT. LOG CABIN - NIGHT

Blood-curdling screams reverberate throughout the forest.

[Sheridan Passell]

Whatever you do, don't search 'bear attack' in google images, it brings up some of the most disgusting pictures I've ever seen. They literally eat you like we would a leg of chicken.

[Sheridan Passell]

Two characters find themselves trapped in a toilet with the bear outside the door. The only way out is to make themselves unappetising, so they (very reluctantly) smear themselves all over in shit. They put it everywhere, even between the toes. But by the time they come out, the bear's gone.

[Prof. Loug]

smear themselves all over in shit.

I love it.

[Dom Duncombe]

The bear could literally tear someone a new asshole...

Since the bears are super-intelligent i'd like to see someone baiting a bear trap to catch the bear only to get trapped in a bigger bear trap laid by the bear in a prime location to put a bear trap.

eg. MAN: I'll set this trap, that'll stop that crazy bear. Now where should I set it...

*Sees clearing*

MAN: Why, that spot looks ideal.

*Walks over, the ground collapses and a hidden bear trap clamps on his leg*

MAN: DAMNIT! He got here first! Oh woe is me!

etc etc

[dnwilliams]

gah!

[ad4m22]

A Man is being chased by a bear in the woods.

He spies a bear trap on the floor.

MAN

Oh, come on you motherfucker...

He edges around the bear trap and walks backwards, putting the trap between himself and furry death. The bear slows to a walk.

MAN

Come and get me... come on, come and get me...

He egdes backwards - right behind him is another bear trap. One more step...

The bear stops moving and looks at him. Edges forwards.

Towards the trap.

MAN

Yes... yes!

The bear swipes at the trap. It flies through the air and catches around the Man's leg. He screams in pain. Steps back.

The second trap goes off around his other leg.

He falls down, yelling in pain.

The bear calmly wanders over.

The Man tries to move away, but the second trap is pinned in the ground.

The Man flings his arms wildly. One of them presses down on something hard.

A third trap snaps on his arm.

The bear sits next to him and watches.

The Man, with one free limb, grabs a stick and swings it at the bear. It clubs it on the nose. No reaction.

The Man throws the stick away.

MAN

FETCH!

The bear wanders away.

The Man sighs in relief, looks around at his predicament.

The bear returns, holding the chains of two more bear traps in its mouth.

It places them around the Man, by his other arm and near his head. If the Man lays down, he'll die.

The bear wanders off.

MAN

FUCK YOOOOOUUU!