According other internest sources every bit as reliable as Movie Moron, Stephen King's epic meta-narrative fantasy series, The Dark Tower
, has been optioned by Akiva Goldsman, Ron Howard, and Brian Grazer (writer, director, producer, respectively).Let's see, let's see ... how can I f*ck this up royally?
This announcement, made not long after J.J. Abram's Bad Robot moniker returned the material rights back to Stephen King, has sent fans into a negative frenzy.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, n, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Really? The writer of BATMAN & ROBIN and LOST IN SPACE, Akiva Goldsman, to write THE GUNSLINGER film? Really? - AIN'T IT COOL NEWS
While Ron Howard has some fine films on his resume (Apollo 13, Frost/Nixon
) he also has some real bummers (The DaVinci Code, Angels and Demons
) and his worst films have been scripted by the notorious Akiva Goldsman, who spat in the face of Batman fans with Batman Forever
and Batman and Robin
, the latter of which is considered one of the worst superhero movies ever made:
While Goldsman's light and silly genre sensibilities might seem the perfect match for a fantasy franchise, take into account this is a Stephen King fantasy series, which not only deals with deep philosophical and religious concepts brought on my King's near-fatal accident, but also takes daring risks with prose, weaving King himself into the story in a bizarre meta-narrative twist that makes the books almost impossible to convert into movies.
Also, Goldsman writes silly things, and The Dark Towe
r is ... well ... dark:Adorable.
While the Howard/Grazer/Goldsman trio plans to spin the movie (or movies, depending on if they go for the standard trilogy) into a television series that will help spread the storytelling weight, seeing as this series consists of seven volumes, a seemingly good idea for converting these books, it's the quality
of the movies and TV show that are in question.
Again, remember, this is the same writer that spawned this scene (Movie Moron apologizes for the graphic nature of this travesty):
Feel free to add your outrage to the comments below. Or, you know, a different opinion. If you dare!
Source: Heat Vision