I remember fairly well viewing the trailer for Jessica Simpson's Blonde Ambition a few months back, since it was immediately after that that I lost the gift of sight. One minute I'm watching her going all slapsticky and the next I'm staring into the very heart of Michael Bay (read: complete blackness). I've seen clown porn that was less horrific.
Apparently Friday the film made its worldwide debut . . . At eight theatres in Texas (Please insert your own Last Picture Show
joke here). The reason for being released there by film bosses at Nu Image and Millennium Films, who decided to give it a limited Christmas release since Simpson and co-star Luke Wilson are both native Texans. The total tally for the weekend was a whopping $400. Needless to say hopes for any further theatrical release has been kiboshed and will now be relegated to DVD in January, where it will be the only movie left for rental on a Friday night at Hollywood Video.
The good news out of all this is that if Ms. Simpson does get to make her wish to star in a remake of Pretty Woman
, as I mentioned in a previous story, she may attempt to up her box office by going all Method-acting on us and offer a complimentary "hummer" for each purchased ticket. Participation in the "ole-hole-in-the-bottom-of-the-popcorn-bucket" trick will cost extra.