Preview: 8 Worst Films Coming 2008

[Sheridan Passell]

Whereas other publications are looking forward to the cinematic highlights of 2008, we want to be on hand to remind everyone that there’s also a turd tidal wave on the way. Indeed, we’re about to enter a bonanza time for crap movies - January/February is traditionally where studios dump their total garbage. Cedric The Entertainer calls it home.

8. Untraceable

When will they learn? The internet is not scary.



Nothing says pure thrills like Colin Hanks.

7. In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale



From Uwe Boll, the director of Alone In The Dark and House Of The Dead (still the only film to have cutaways of video game footage during an action scene), comes In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.

Farmer Jason Statham goes to war with the Krugs, a race of animal-warriors controlled by Ray Liotta. Burt Reynolds plays a king.

6. First Sunday
 

 
I hope Ice Cube doesn't ever plan to go back to gang culture because after this and last year’s Are We Done Yet he may have burned that bridge.

5. Mad Money
 


Anyone want to see Katie Holmes do comedy? Thought not.

4. Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
 
A trailer that doesn’t know when to end.



3. Witless Protection
 
Forget De Niro and Pacino teaming up on film, this is the first ever onscreen pairing of Jenny McCarthy and Larry The Cable Guy.

 
 
2. Meet The Spartans
 
Nothing says ‘stay away’ like the phrase - ‘From The Makers Of Epic Movie’
 

 
You know your comedy’s in big trouble when the trailer’s only 1 minute 20 seconds, and the jokes don’t start until half way through.

1. Major Movie Star
 
Who else would be headlining the number one?
 

 
And yes, that is Steve Guttenberg.

[dalmatianjaws]

You've completely failed as a movie humor site . . . because you just sucked all the joy out of my life forever.

But the Stomp the Yard bit in Meet the Spartans was kinda funny.

[Sheridan Passell]

I dare you to see and review Meet The Spartans.

[dalmatianjaws]

Dare accepted. Expect your first A++.

And afterwards, I'm going to find Uwe Boll, sever his head, and hid it in your bed.

[dalmatianjaws]

I dare you to see and review Meet The Spartans.

Uh Damn ... I never saw it, but BOY were you right. I love that most of these are totally forgotten.