Drive In Massacre
Rating: 4/5Drive-In Massacre is an interesting bag indeed. The opening scene proved to be very promising. Faithful to its name, it starts out with a young couple doing the things young couples do in a drive-in theater. Of course, they are brutally slain with, if not the best, at least reliable gore effects. And so the rest of the movie continues with a pair of the dumbest detectives ever on film investigating the film as the bodies begin to mount up.
My most important advice to anyone watching the movie is to not let logic enter your mind, lest you feel like losing any suspension of disbelief. Sure, we could bother ourselves with questions like, if young couples keep getting butchered at this theater, why do they keep showing up. Or the most common slasher question “wouldn't a gun be better?” Just like the last Die Hard movie, don't watch this with your mind turned on. It will only ruin it.
However, I still cannot stress enough how incompetent the detectives are in the film. Thankfully, the expressions they wear on their faces for the movie's entirety at least gives us some clue that they know they're dumbasses and have accepted it. But just to give you a clue as to how stupid the police are in this, there is a scene where they go undercover at the theater to try and catch the killer. During their stakeout, not only does the slasher kill two people, but one of those slain happens to be seated essentially right next to the detectives. I couldn't hope to find a bigger bag of fail.
Arguably, the biggest flaw of the movie is the quality of deaths. After the first scene's completely awesome sequence, the death scenes afterwards not only fail to match up, but almost get intentionally worse. Granted, they do get much funnier, but those looking for death sequences that make you go “Oooh!” will be disappointed.
In closing, the movie is a very effective B movie that thankfully knows it is a B movie. Don't expect any inkling of production quality. But at least it shows that they had fun making it, and that translated to me having fun watching it. And, if you hate it, at least it's short (72 mins).
By Tyler Lovemark