Top 10 Worst Sequels to Great Movies

We here at Movie Moron have been closely watching the making of Raging Bull II (and yes, that's a real thing and yes, it's filming right now with William Forsythe as Jake LaMotta), from its long, laborious pre-production to the lawsuit from MGM and eventual re-naming to The Bronx Bull.

In honor of this soon-to-be masterpiece, we give you:

The Top Ten WORST Sequels to Great Movies

10. Jaws: The Revenge

It tickles!

Even though Spielberg's perfect original was followed by a forgettable sequel and an absolutely ridiculous 3-D installment, producers decided film goers hadn't had enough of the Brody family saga and dreamed up the worst film conceit ever (until M. Night's killer plants 20 years later): the shark's family is stocking Chief Brody's mother ... across the planet. Worse than this nonsensical premise was the casting of an elderly woman as the lead in a horror/thriller. What followed was a ridiculous attempt at high seas horror that did nothing but smudge the career of Michael Caine.

Lowest point:

9. The Neverending Story III

See what happens when you always get lucky but never use protection?

Having no resemblance to the first two films, which were based on the original novel, this third installment stars that kid from Free Willy, who went on the play in a bunch of Los Angeles indie-bands before disappearing altogether. Often subtitled Escape from Fantasia, it comes from the mind of Jeff Lieberman writer of Squirm (better known as the second-to-last episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000) and its only claim to credibility is that it co-starred Jack Black.

Lowest Point:

8. Superman IV: A Quest for Peace

Stop hitting me!

Following the critical and financial flop of Superman III, rights to the property were bought by Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, two men whose names sound like comic book villains. Judging by what they did to the Man of Steel, that is a viable theory. With its preachy anti-nuke premise (Superman literally preaches to the U.N. about nuclear arms), incredibly low budget, and general apathy from everyone except Christopher Reeve, it's no wonder it took 20 years to revive the franchise.

Lowest point:

7. Speed 2: Cruise Control

An image of Gillette's Speed 2 razor, which is more entertaining than the entire film Speed 2: Cruise Control.

Even as a child I watched the trailers to this film and wondered, "how the hell would that happen to the same person twice ... and why does Keanu Reeves look like a metro-sexual vampire?" The answers to both questions were simple: (a) it could never happen to the same person twice and (b) that was Jason Patrick, who played a metro-sexual vampire in Lost Boys. Despite the ridiculous plot, idiotic cameos from random side characters from the first film, and a few cool water stunts, I remember nothing of this travesty other than Willem Dafoe in a bath tub full of leaches.

Lowest point:

6. Son of the Mask

holyfc*kingsh*t make it go away oh god in heaven make the bad thing go away

It was originally a horror comic but by the time Jim Carrey was finished with it The Mask was a violently entertaining introduction to Cameron Diaz's ~~body~~ career. The sequel, however, starred Jamie Kennedy as a hapless cartoonist whose son contracts the godlike powers of Loki's mask. Despite the studio's attempt for a more family friendly PG rating, they filled this malignant sequel with crude humor and cast Alan Cumming as the villain, whose last name should automatically dictate an R rating.

Lowest point:

5. Jurassic Park III

Tip for success: open your summer blockbuster with a pun.

Spielberg wisely stayed away from the director's chair for this installment, a wet hot mess of gibberish that was written one month before filming began, after the original premise was abandoned. Forced to carve a story around sets and stunts that were already built, the result was: a talking velociraptor. Also, the producers chose kill a T-rex, the world's most popular dinosaur, and replace it with a giant crocodile with a fin hot-glued to its back. Even if one can forgive the weak story, it's impossible to get past Joe Johnson's cartoony directing choices, often speeding up the film when his actors reacted to the dinos, making William H. Macy look even more like a Looney Tunes character.

Lowest point:

4. The Blues Brothers 2000

Watching dailies.

Titled Blues Brothers 2000 even though it was released in 1998, this sequel replaced the deceased (and genius) John Belushi with the husband from Roseanne. It was all downhill from there. The dull dialog, forgettable musical numbers, and asinine magical elements destroyed all credibility, culminating in a mind-numbing finale where Erykah Badu turns everyone into bright green zombies.

Lowest point:

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3. Batman and Robin

We want you to die of shame.

Legend has it that Joel Schumacher saw George Clooney's picture on a magazine, covered up the top portion of his head, and thought his chin looked fabulous. With that level of thought going into every major creative decision it's hard to imagine they made anything short of a masterpiece ... but he pun-filled one-liners, campy stunts, and homo-erotic undertones so utterly destroyed the franchise that it took seven years for the studio to try again.

Lowest point:

2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

"It'll get better, right?" - The Audience

From the cartoon gopher to the head-exploding aliens, Indy 4 is chock full of horrible scenes. But the worst is when monkeys teach Indy's son to swing on vines so he can lead them on a revolt against their cold-war oppressors. This flick also changed pop-culture vernacular with the phrase "Nuke the Fridge," in reference to the scene where our aging hero survives a ground-zero nuclear blast in a refrigerator.

Lowest point:

1. Highlander II: The Quickening

Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert share a moment of silence for their dead artistic integrity.

The original Highlander has a brilliant concept ... but the sequel worked hard to crush its fan base by completely ignoring the events of the first film, going as far as to resurrect a dead character with no explanation and deconstruct the magical theme by weaving an interstellar science-fiction origin story. Years later the director tried to make amends by re-editing a "Renegade Version" of the film, trying to dupe fans into thinking the "off planet" scenes really took place in a long forgotten civilization in Earth's ancient past ... again failing to realize that the man character was not even BORN until the 1500s.

Lowest point:

Honorable Mention: Alien: Resurrection, The Matrix: Revolutions, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, and the Terrible Twos: The Exorcist II: Heretic, Poltergeist II: The Other Side., and Airplane II: The Sequel.

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