In honor of The Dark Knight opening this week, it is a time to look back at some of the characters in the Batman films and wonder, just what if these casting calls were different. Please keep in mind that these casting choices are purely fantasy and are not indicative of any actual possibilities. The movie studios just lack the awesome to see the great potential certain actors have for these roles.
10. Bane-Mickey Rourke
Simple. Mickey Rourke is Bane. Somehow I don't think breaking a man's back is out of the question for Mr. Rourke. Of course, his largeness and fearsome nature help out as well.
9. The Penguin-Jason Alexander
Anatomically, these two are a match made in heaven. One is a short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man, and the other is as well. Just picture good ol' Costanza fighting a caped Mel Gibson, and tell me that's not perfect. Oh yeah, add an umbrella into Georgie-boy's hand and that should persuade you.
8. Poison Ivy-Cate Blanchett
What a fine redhead Miss Blanchett would make indeed. Poison Ivy as always been somewhat of a whore, and it's kind of hard to take her seriously. This is why Cate Blanchett would be perfect. Within her first lines, she'd knock those preconceptions right out of the ballpark. And plus, if the movie sucked, I can say, “at least Cate Blanchett was in it”. Indy what?
7. Two-Face-Brangelina
Imagine Pitt playing the Dent half, and Jolie playing the scarred half. Perfect, right? In real life, we all assume she's the one in charge of their relationship, so it would be nice to see this assumption challenged on screen. Of course, there could be some problems anatomically speaking...
6. Catwoman-Judi Dench
Catwoman knows how to put men in their place. Judi Dench does the same. Her effortless authority and animal sensuality would make for quite an unforgettable moment in film. She's also quite good at playing somewhat of a bitch (to varying degrees, that is).
5. The Joker-Steve Carell
He's funny. He wanted the role Heath Ledger ended up getting, and it's always fun watching him in awkward moments. What could be more awkward than gassing countless citizens with bags of sand. Another reason behind Carell is that he's not an obvious choice for a villain. I'm still waiting for the film where Carell can butcher innocent bystanders while laughing maniacally.
4. Robin-Zach Braff
Again, obvious. His pouty lips and reputation for being “the quiet boy” makes him perfect for the sidekick everyone regrets. Look at it this way, if he plays Jason Todd, that will be one hell of a satisfying death scene. It could give Paris Hitlon's in House of Wax a run for its money.
3. Gordon-Al Pacino
This one is obvious. Pacino can play cops with the same ease that Jessica Alba can play a pretty face with sup-par acting skills. While Gordon is commonly thought of as a virtuous and upright citizen, that's where the challenge come into play. I'm trying really hard to think of the last time Pacino played a really good guy. Closest I can think of is Devil's Advocate.
2. Alfred-Gary Busey
As far as Hollywood mentors go, Busey is the man to beat. Not Morgan Freeman or Liam Neeson, but the Busey man. If his antics in Point Break were any indication, the man sure does have some words of wisdom. And if I were to pick anyone to be my butler, how could I not choose Gary Busey?
1. Batman-Mel Gibson
There's only one alternate for the caped crusader. I think it's pretty well assumed that if the Mel can kick ass vigilante-style in tight black leather, then tight black rubber is just a simple adjustment. And if the purpose of Batman is to strike fear into criminals, then Mel's pretty much got that one in the bag. I mean, hell, he's pretty capable of scaring anyone. Too old? No way. Just look at the latest Indy movie. That turned out alright.
By Tyler Lovemark
January 04, 2008, 07:58:49 AM
