I hadn't seen the originals since I was a kid and I've never bothered with the sequels, so it was time to hit up Blockbuster and finally figure out who is the reigning king of horror, round by round.
Friday the 13th Part II - A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 - Halloween II
The Loser: A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's RevengeThink this poster is confusing? Try watching the movie.
If "unmitigated piece of shit" was allowed on a movie poster, it would be the perfect subtitle for this sequel. Although the choice to make a horror film without a single scare was quite daring, the lazy nonsensical plot and disturbingly asexual male protagonist make this a contender for my worst sequel list. Although Freddy looks a bit more gruesome and Robert Englund continues to rock the glove as the sadistic dream psycho, his scripted antics are ridiculous and bumbling. The vague nod that the scriptwriters gave to an original idea is lost in all the confusion: does Freddy live in a dream world or does he live in an under-aged boy's body? Why is he seeking revenge on a totally random person? And, why is he outdone by teenage lust?Scariest Moment:
There isn't one.Worst Moment:
When you realize that the filmmakers completely ignored the rules of the first film and were more focused on naked men than naked women.Unintentionally Funny Moment:
When Freddy uses his magical dream powers to torture a man (who isn't asleep) by stripping him naked and flicking his butt with a damp towel.
The Runner Up: Friday the 13th Part IIKeep this director away from my acting!
A rare case of a sequel being only marginally better than the first, Friday the 13th Part 2
offers us a large, deformed male for a villain, rather than his toothy, sweatshirt-wearing mommy. Unfortunately, that's about the only good thing it offers ... other than the scenes where this girl:
and then does this:
In addition to a higher boob to girl ratio, the kills are also a bit more gruesome and it's nice to finally see Jason in the franchise he's famous for.Scariest Moment:
Jason's inevitable, yet still effective, "jump and get the girl" final scare.Worst Moment:
The ending. Does anyone know what the frack happened? Cause it makes no sense to me.Unintentionally Funny Moment:
Muffin, the brave Lasa Apsa, returns to safety, ribbons intact.The Winner: Halloween IIStarring Joe Cocker as Michael Myers.
This is an even rarer case of the sequel being noticeably better than the first, although, to be fare this really is just an extension of the first film. It starts at the exact moment the first film left off. Michael is scarier, tougher, and the kills are a touch more realistic. Although Jamie Lee Curtis spends most of the film comatose, the film still manages to make you care. And the "blind Michael" sequence is priceless.Scariest Moment:
When Michael scalpel's the nurse's spine and lifts her off the ground.Worst moment:
The doctor and nurse having fake noisy sex right next to Laurie Strode.Unintentionally Funny Moment:
When the kid from The Last Starfighter
walks five feet into a spreading pool of blood without leaving a footprint, then falls and knocks himself out.Summary:
Nightmare reduces Freddy to a bumbling idiot and Jason bumps it up a notch ... and I finally see why folks love Halloween